


Find Your Place (whatever it takes)

by Dovey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bitter sakura, Clan Politics, Haruno Sakura-centric, Holding a grudge, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Strong Haruno Sakura, Survivor Guilt, Village Politics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-04-13 12:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14112045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dovey/pseuds/Dovey
Summary: The war lasts longer than in canon, and has only just ended. While most of the 'Konoha 12' are clan heirs and thus protected from having to go to war prematurely, Sakura is from a civilian family, with naturally advanced chakra control, and thus is thrown immediately onto the frontlines. Now she's on a genin team in peacetime, and she's struggling to figure out how to live when she's not constantly at risk of dying.Team seven bonds in new weird ways, The Uchiha are actually all dead except for Sasuke (including war-hero itachi) who's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Konoha, Naruto isn't the kyuubi container and he finds Sakura kinda scary. Sakura would just like to have a hobby.





	1. Chapter 1

She knows him. She hadn’t recognized the name, but his shock of grey hair is enough of a reminder to jolt her memory, and she ignores the fact he’s just been caught by a child’s prank because this man is a superior officer, and one who’s half crazy as far as the stories go.

“Sir.” She says, bowing deep at his entrance.

The man studies them all with a slow, lazy gaze. Sakura’s still in that far-too-deep bend, fists trembling. Naruto laughed so hard at the success of his prank that he hit the floor. Sasuke is look at all of them as if he’s very unimpressed, which, if Kakashi knows anything about the Uchiha, is almost certainly the case. They’re a very critical bunch.

“My first impression is… I hate you all.” He says, pleasantly.

Sakura barely hears the rest of his words, only able to pick up on them because they contain an order, and she breaks out into sweats. He’s a  _ superior officer.  _ It’s hard to get worse than the frontlines, but a man of his rank could easily find the most dangerous missions and demand she handle them. If she doesn’t fix this-

_ Last for medication and treatment. First into the fight. Expired food and pissed-in water. _

If she doesn’t fix this, she’ll die.

She’s the first on the roof, having taken the window up, contorting her body into the deepest bow she can possibly manage, head meeting her toes and arms stiff at her sides.

“My apologies for having offended you sir! I accept any due punishment for my behavior!”

“Fuck.” She hears, muttered from across from her, and she chances a look up at the man. “Where were you stationed?” He asks.

She takes it as a release and lets herself return to standing position, back cracking uncomfortably at the quick change. “Frontlines, sir. Meadow point and Senju forest most often.”

“Sensei, Sakura.”

“Sir?”

“Call me sensei. And don’t be so quick to apologize. I’m not about to-” and he winces, clearly thinking about exactly what she had a few seconds earlier. “- I’m not about to get you killed over your teammate’s dumb prank.”

She’d say more, but her teammates have finally arrived, bursting through the roof’s door and clambering over each other to get to the sensei sooner.

Kakashi’s stance shifts into something easier, and Sakura allows herself to do the same. No threats on this roof, then- she’ll trust his judgement over her own measly sensing abilities any day.

“Let’s all introduce ourselves, yes?” He suggests, sitting down and motioning for them to follow.

Naruto is the first to sit down, then drags Sasuke next to him with a not-so-secretive whisper of, “ _ You can sit next to miss pink-and-creepy!” _

Sakura pretends she heard nothing and sits gracefully next to the black haired boy who seemed rather used to the blonde’s antics.

“You go first, sensei!” Naruto announces, and Kakashi seems about ready to tell him to fuck off before he chances a look at Sakura, who’s clearly out of her depth here. If he wants more than her essential skills and weaknesses, he’s going to have to give an example.

“My name is Hatake Kakashi. I like dogs and good books. I dislike traitors and dog-eared pages. My hobbies are reading and defeating Might Guy in challenges. My dream is…. None of your business.”

“That’s dumb. Anyways! My name is Naruto Namikaze! I like my parents and Iruka-sensei and this ornery bastard-” He gestures towards Sasuke. “- and ramen! My dislikes are chores, and this ornery bastard.” He gestures towards Sasuke again. “My hobby is pranking people, and my dream is to be Hokage one day!”

Sasuke’s sigh is long suffering. Clearly this is not a new goal, or an unusual amount of enthusiasm for Naruto.

“My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I do not like things. I dislike many things. My goal is to be stronger than my brother once was, and to restore my clan.”

This is much more like what Sakura is used to, and she gives him a friendly smile at the familiarity of it. He shoots her a glare, and she quickly turns her focus away. Perhaps she misunderstood something about this activity?

“Go on, Sakura.” Kakashi prompts, and she clears her throat quickly.

“My name is Haruno Sakura. My likes are…. Balanced blades, sturdy trees, and my comrades. My dislikes are the elite and spoiled. My hobbies… I hope to gain a hobby. That’s my dream.”

The luxury of freetime is new and a bit frightening, but something she’s happy to tackle.

“What  _ are  _ you?” Naruto asks, and it smarts for a second before he shoves sasuke at her and says, “Bastard, it’s a match made in heaven! She’s just as antisocial and mean as you are!”

“I’m not mean.” Sakura pouts. Sasuke scrambles to get out of her lap, and Kakashi coughs awkwardly.

“Not that this isn’t fascinating, but I have a test you need to take, to truly become genin.”

\--

She’s going to die. He’s a  _ jounin,  _ a famous one, and if she’s not careful he’ll break her tiny neck. To die in peacetime would just be embarrassing. Still, she has her orders, so she flings herself at the man regardless- and is sent flying into the forests for the effort.

Sasuke is nearby, and she can hear his snort from the distance. The fool thinks he can beat Kakashi? She won’t be surprised if he does better than her- he’s been raised in the village, as the heir to a revered and once-powerful clan. His body will never have suffered fatigue or major injuries; he’ll have spent the past few years learning exclusive jutsus and conditioning his body. The boy outclasses her by miles, but if he thinks he can beat the Copy-Nin, he’s an idiot.

She’s satisfied to hear him getting flung back into the trees a few seconds later. Serves him right, the dick.

Then he comes bursting out of the brush with a fire jutsu and she can’t focus at all, because she’s seen that bright gust of flame on the battlefield so many times, felt it’s heat tickle against her skin.

For a second, it’s like she’s back on the battlefield and he’s her comrade, Uchiha are rarely paired with so lowly a rank as her, even young ones, but perhaps they were short on suitable partners. She’s rushing behind him in proper flanking formation for a boy his size and for his clan’s specialization, until she sees his target.

Jounin vest, leaf insignia, one eye covered,  _ fuck he’s a superior why is this Uchiha trying to attack a superior? Traitor! _

Unwillingly, she finds herself moving in front of the jounin and deflecting the boy’s attack half-decently with her metal fan.  _ Thank you, tenten,  _ she thinks ruefully, even as she feels the sting of some of the flames bubble her skin.

“What-“ The traitor says, and she takes the confusion to try and send him flying back with a well-placed chest kick. He’s good, though, grabs her by the heel and twists, sending her body flipping and she has to catch herself with her hands and spring back up.

The fucking ungrateful jounin isn’t  _ moving,  _ defensively or otherwise.

“Copy-nin! Complete the objective.” She yells, knowing that daring to yell at her superior officer will get her in trouble down the line but she’s trying to prevent a mutiny here and she’d appreciate if he got to doing whatever it was he had to do that an infiltrator was willing to betray their cover over. 

“At ease!”

_ Orders. _

She stops.

Idiotic as it is, fatalistic, she has to do what he says. Then, she’s completely thrown for a loop, because the man asks her,  “When did you leave the frontlines?”

“One month, three days, sir.”

She’s keeping a close eye on the traitor, but he doesn’t seem to be making another move to attack. Thank god, because he’d probably kill her before she could move back into a defensive position if he tried. Perhaps he’s smart enough to finally realize he’s outmatched by the jounin behind her.

“The war ended a  _ year  _ ago.”

“Yes, sir, but they required border patrol and cleanup assistance.”

“What got you put on the shitlist?”

She struggles to remember, fog clearing long enough to see-

_ “He’s dead! Oh my god, he’s dead, but he-” _

_ “Shut up.” Kiba snarled, teeth bared. “There’s more coming.” _

_ Sakura is still silent even as her other teammates descend into chaos, staring at the boy’s long hair and empty eyes, blood staining his clothes. Her fault. Her fault completely, god, she- _

“Prodigy clan teammate died. My fault.”

“Sakura. Where are you right now.”

“Konoha.” She replies, easily. The trees are a dead giveaway that they haven’t passed the border of their territory. Then, seeing this wasn’t enough, she gave the space more inspection. It’s… clean. No bodies. Barely any blood. No tents, no stations, no patrols.

“It’s… a training yard?”

Shit. It had happened again. Her sensei must see the flicker of recognition in her eyes, because he stops pushing.

“How often does that happen to you?”

“Not often, sensei. But spars- or certain jutsu-“

“Maa, it’s okay, Sakura-chan. Very common.” 

 

The boy in the dirt- Sasuke, her teammate, she’d really messed this up- is glaring up at her with all the righteous fury he can muster. She can’t blame him for that. 

 

“I think we’ll  have you sit out spars for a while, yeah?” 

 

She nods. Almost misses the implication, and then allows herself to hope. “We passed?”

 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinner with the boss.

Kakashi left to find Naruto and pass on the good news. Sakura stayed, breathing heavy, before turning her attention towards the boy she’d accidentally fought. 

 

He was still glaring at her, and it was a matter of seconds before she felt her body slamming into the tree trunk. 

 

_ Don’t panic. It’s not the war. It’s not the war. You can’t kill him.  _

 

To her relief, she doesn’t lash out. 

 

“I don’t like weaklings who get the strong killed.” He hisses out, and she tries to nod in acceptance despite his hand grasping her throat. It’s lucky, actually, that that’s how he’s holding her to the tree, because it’s not a common technique on the battlefield and doesn’t come with enough baggage to force her into fighting back. 

 

He lets her drop. “Disgusting.” He says, at the way her body folds so easily upon release. She doesn’t even try to argue, and he walks away with his hands in his pockets as if to rub in how little a threat she is to him. 

 

She rubs at her neck, and misses her old teammates. They’re still not allowed to see each other for at least a month, since they might otherwise suck each other deeper into their wartime mentality, but it’s  _ hard.  _ Kakashi seems like he could be a good sensei, but one of her teammates seems scared of her and the other hates her already. 

Peace is much more difficult to navigate than wartime, apparently. She never thought she’d miss the simplicity of the frontlines. 

\--

She spends her evening shopping for supplies. Technically, she could always try and go live with her parents- but she hadn’t seen them since she’d been pulled from the academy, and she’s half certain they moved away from Konoha in the time in between. It’s easier to try and turn a basic chuunin apartment into a home, poor as her sense in decorating is, then broach that particular topic just yet. 

 

She buys a futon- a luxury in and of itself, as far as she’s concerned, after sleeping so often on cold dirt or sticky tree branches- and curtains. The curtains are a nice soft purple, and she can’t decide if she bought it for the color or because it was the first set she saw and she wanted to escape the store. Either way, they seem to brighten up the space, and she decides to start experimenting with colors when it’s time to purchase more furnishings for the apartment. 

 

She falls asleep early, and wakes up before the sun rises. She sets about eating breakfast, savoring the taste of food that doesn’t come from a package wrap, and sets about her morning exercises. She has no idea what sort of training Kakashi Sensei will give them, so she doesn’t push herself too hard, focusing on stretches instead. If they don’t do much, she can always make up for it at the end of the day. 

 

Then, she makes her way towards the recently-finished memorial stone, cautious to avoid drawing attention. Her sensei has beat her there, however, and she immediately ditches that plan for another day. She’s pretty sure you’re supposed to bring an offering, anyways. She’ll remember that next time. 

 

She arrives early at the meeting spot, but is quickly joined by a sullen Sasuke who switches between glaring at her and glaring at the dirt in front of him. Brat. He’s not the one still baring fingerprints bruised into their neck. She’s saved from trying to make peace with him by the arrival of Naruto, who comes running and slams into Sasuke with a cackle. 

 

“Yo, I’m so ready for our first mission! Yeah, Sasuke?” He pauses, and then adds, “And Sakura?”

 

Aw. He’s trying. At least someone on this team is. 

 

“I’m excited too, Naruto-kun.” She says, and she tries to give a suitably ‘pumped’ smile, which probably didn’t work out great from the way Naruto shudders. She’s not good at faking emotions, though, and her experiences with missions have never been particularly positive. 

 

“Ah haha, that’s, uh, great, Sakura!” the boy replies, not one to be deterred by sour teammates or terrible attempts at smiles. “You’ll both have to come over for dinner tonight, my dad really wants to meet my teammates!”

 

Sasuke says, “Dumbass, your parents know me.”  

 

Naruto hisses back, “Don’t leave me alone with creepy!” 

 

Ah. Well. He’s trying. Sakura pretends, yet again, not to hear his attempt at whispering. Honestly, he’s worse at it than civilians. 

 

“That sounds nice.” She says instead, and tries a smaller smile with less teeth. 

 

The attempts at goodwill fade fast enough, as soon as her teammates discover that village missions are invariably boring. She’s relieved at the discovery, but knows better than to say as much. They spend the day painting a fence, and she’s the second to last to finish only because Naruto keeps getting distracted trying to splatter paint discreetly on their sensei (with no success).

 

They make their way to Naruto’s house slowly, which leaves her far too much time to think about where exactly she’s going. The Hokage’s house will likely not be overly ornate, but even from this distance it reeks of privilege- she can see telltale signs of anbu guards and expensive security measures. 

 

_ He served, too.  _ She reminds herself sternly, but it does little to assuage her anger. He might’ve served, but they fought different wars- she fought in the mud and the dirt with no insurance or preperation, and he was a fully trained warrior with a battalion around him. He had a home to go back to eventually- with a son her age who he’d kept out of the fight entirely.  _ Where’s that sympathy when it comes to kids that didn’t spring from your wife’s womb, Hokage-Sama?  _

 

Still. She must be polite. She must be perfect. She cannot risk messing up, here, so she shoves those thoughts into a box in her head and resolves to handle them later. 

 

She’s the last into the house, and shuffles to take off her shoes at the door along with Sasuke and Naruto. There’s only the two pairs of house slippers left, and Sasuke grabs the one meant for guests before she can and shoots her a sneer, and so she walks barefoot in the Hokage’s house and tries to be as light-footed as possible. 

 

A woman turns out of the kitchen and spots the trio immediately, a bright smile lighting up her face. 

 

“Naruto, how did the mission go? Oh! And you brought your teammates like we asked, aren’t you a good boy?” She leans down the pinch his cheek, and Naruto turns bright red. 

 

“Aw, hey, not in front of Sasuke!” Naruto pleads, but she only pinches harder. 

 

Sakura remembers hearing about the Hokage’s wife dying years ago in battle. He must’ve remarried since then, especially since this woman looks nothing like Naruto- dark hair and dark eyes and graceful in every measure. 

 

“And what a relief it was to find out you were put on a team with someone as responsible as Sasuke! And oh, my, I’m afraid I don’t recognize you- Naruto said your name was Sakura?” 

 

Sakura bows, and smiles. “Yes, miss, Haruno Sakura.”

 

“Well, aren’t you a polite little thing! Perhaps your good manners will rub off on my boy, eh?”

 

Sakura has no idea how to respond, so she just keeps smiling carefully. It’s starting to hurt her face. 

 

“Everyone into the kitchen, now, Minato will be home shortly.”

 

She finds her way into the kitchen and the only empty spot besides the head of the table is the back corner wall, which is a relief for how secure it is, but she doubts that’s why she’s been cornered there. 

 

The man arrives soon after, and she scrambles out of her seat to deliver the proper bow as best she can manage in the tight corner. The others look at her with something akin to amusement, so used to the presence of the leader of their society that her diligence to formality is a joke to them. 

 

Apparently, it’s a dead giveaway that she was in the war, because Minato says, 

 

“Alright, alright, enough politeness, please, sit! Eat! Sakura, yes? You served… Ah, I’m sorry, it’s slipped my mind.”

 

More likely it slipped his mind to find out, once he knew she would be on his son’s team, since Sakura highly doubts the man has the time or motivation to memorize the names of every squad under his control. 

 

“I served with division ten, Hokage Sir.”

 

Normally, this would mean nothing to the man. Unfortunately, her division suffered a tragedy that affected an important clan, and so there’s a slight twitch to his face before he smooths it out and continues as if nothing had happened. 

 

“Konoha appreciates your service, and your willingness to continue in the field after the war. Very admirable of you, young lady!” He delivers this with the same sort of grin Naruto has, and she hates it with every fiber of her being. 

 

_ It’s not so much a willingness as necessity, sir, unless you can name a profession willing to take on a traumatized killer. And it has to be in Konoha, too, or else I’ll be slaughtered as a missing nin or run the risk of crossing paths with someone I fought in the war with a grudge. You raised your lambs for the slaughter and I don’t know any other way to live.  _

 

She does not want to die, so she keeps those thoughts on the back of her tongue and just says, “It was an honor, sir.” The words feel like acid on her throat. 

 

“Ah, hope you can pass a little of that responsible attitude onto my son, here!”

 

He’s a teasing, doting father. She’s sure he has a million photo albums with his boy and his first wife.  He probably cried on his wedding day, and cried twice as much when Naruto was born. It’s despicable. 

 

She shrugs, aims to tease back, “I can’t work miracles, sir.” Her hands are curled tight around the utensils at the table, and she focuses her energy into an old team ten curse with all the vindictiveness she can muster. 

 

_ I hope the Hyuuga kill you in an uprising, and the Inuzuka claim your home for kindling in the aftermath. May the civilians gnaw on your bones in the streets. Then carrion will pluck at-  _

 

Laughter. Naruto’s blushing. Good, it worked. She can feel the ANBU at her back, or maybe that’s just paranoia, but they’ve got no reason to attack her. It’s like an infiltration mission and she’s passing just fine, she just has to make it to the end of the meal. 

 

The rest of the night is a blur, adrenaline keeping her awake and ready for threats but blind to almost anything else. The food is too rich and it makes her stomach turn, so she spits it up on a trip to the toilet and sticks to drinking water for the rest of the night. When she leaves, she spots a short anbu agent actually visible on the Hokage’s roof- he flicks a one-finger salute at her and vanishes with likely a very good shunshin. 

 

He’s short enough to be her age, like a war recruit who showed promise and was forced up the chain quickly, and wasn’t let back out at the end of it. Instinct told her he’d had similar meals in his times, awkward false-ease with a man who owned their lives,  and she has her first real smile of the night. A friend. Something good came of this dinner, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sasuke's jumping to some conclusions. how accurate they are is for another day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Disgusting" is the new annoying, sakura shows a little bit of her soft side, kakashi is a good teacher (this is an au so its allowed). thank you for your patience for the slow updates!

 

Kakashi is early, the next day, and instead of assigning them D ranks he decides to spend the day actually teaching them. 

 

“I hear dinner went well yesterday.” He says, and Naruto nods enthusiastically even as Sasuke huffs. 

 

“Yeah, yeah! We had ramen and it was so good, and Sasuke barely insulted me, and Sakura even told a joke!”

 

“I tell jokes!” She corrects, and Naruto looks at her disbelievingly. “All the time! I’m very funny.”

 

Nobody is buying it, and she gives up on the point. It’s true she hadn’t made many jokes around her new teammates, but it’s not her fault. 

 

She spends her morning considering the ANBU that likely followed their every movement. She hadn’t considered it before, but the Hokage’s son likely couldn’t so much as sneeze without at least three high ranking nin around to witness it. Perhaps Hokage believed in Kakashi-sensei’s abilities enough to forgo the guard, but she doubted it. 

 

She’s torn between trying to make friends with them, like the one on the roof last night, and outright panicking at the idea of constantly being under watchful eyes, regardless of the fact that she’s not the subject of their focus. At least when she’d been in division 10, survival depended mostly on dumb luck and determination- she’s got more of an ear for politics than Kiba, maybe, but she’s far from an expert. 

 

She settles for focusing on training and avoiding coming anywhere near injuring Naruto- which is easy, because Kakashi has her sit out the spars. It’s a good call, considering how often they can trigger her loss of time, and she focuses on meditating and considering options during the warmups. (After the boys have gotten worn out sparing, Kakashi promised to teach them something useful.) 

 

She’s still not allowed to seek out Kiba or Tenten, but she remembers Kiba had an older sister. She’ll have to check if she can get in contact with her, check up on her teammate that way. As for Tenten, perhaps the local armories will be able to tell her if the girl had recently restocked her weapons? 

 

That matter sorted, she proceeds down her mental checklist. She still needs to buy dishes, and find out where she can get the cheapest foods possible, as well as clothing- she’s only got the three standard outfits that survived the war, and ‘survive’ is being generous. She considers, momentarily, the flak jackets that chuunin and jounin receive, and sighs wistfully. Eventually she’ll have the position, and hopefully the funds, for that sort of practical quality material, but for now she’d have to settle for what was in-budget. 

 

She tugged on the ends of her hair, a reminder that she desperately needs a trim. She can’t do it herself, but without her division members she doesn’t feel safe asking someone else to handle a blade so near her neck. 

 

_ “How come you’re so much neater about it then the rest of us?” She pouted, even as she tried to hold as still as possible for the older boy. “Do you really have to be better at everything?” _

 

_ He flicks his long hair out of the way, and a small, teasing smile graces his lips. _

 

_ “Yes, actually.” He replies, and she laughs so hard he accidentally trims off an extra inch of her hair in the back.  _

 

She shakes herself, trying to focus on the present. At least it wasn’t an unpleasant memory this time. 

 

“Sakura-chan, I believe your teammates have pummeled each other enough, yes?” Kakashi asks, and she tries not to flinch at the unexpected sounds. She nods, standing up from the shade to help lift the boys up from where they’d collapsed in exhaustion on the ground. Naruto takes her hand with little hesitance, but Sasuke slaps it away and looks affronted at the very idea he would accept her help. Typical. 

 

“Maa, Sasuke, that’s no way to treat your teammate.” 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but Sakura was glad  _ someone  _ was sticking up for her, even if it was half-hearted. She would’ve snapped at the boy herself, but she could feel the ANBU in the leaves (or her paranoia was getting stronger), and every time she considered telling him off she remembered the gulf between their importance to the village. Maybe they wouldn’t care if she yelled at the boy, but he didn’t seem the type to take insults sitting down, and if they got in a fight- well, if he didn’t kill her, Naruto’s guardians might. 

 

So she just sighed and pulled away her hand, turning to face their sensei. 

 

In the trees, a man in a ram mask signed to his companion,  _ I bet she decks him by the end of the week, the prick.  _ His cat-masked companion tilted his head, considering, and signed back,  _ Sakura is much more disciplined than that.  _ They watched as Kakashi-senpai began to explain the basics of chakra control, and as Sasuke shoved her out of the way to get to a tree and began implementing the lesson. As they listened to their ward tell Sasuke off, carefully watching for any signs of attack from the beratted boy, Cat added,  _ It will take a month.  _

 

Kakashi sighed at the state of the team he had no choice but to pass, and at the silent laughter in the trees above paying witness to his frustration. 

Children were so troublesome. 

 

\--

She remembers the medic. 

 

When she can’t sleep, Sakura shifts through her past, and more often than not, her mind will settle on one of her most treasured memories. Of being protected, with none of the baggage that usually entailed. Of being  _ saved. _

 

She’d never had one save her in the fields before, even when she was near death, because it would be a waste of chakra and time- there were more important people to heal, after all. But that woman… She was beautiful, untouchable, no signs of exhaustion at all. She had a faint purple mark on her forehead, and she’d looked at Sakura and felt pity.

 

Sakura was dying, so she didn’t mind a little pity, in the moment. 

 

The woman had bitten her finger and a- thing, slimey and glowing, had popped into existence. Small and gross and the woman had placed it on Sakura, given her a wink, and hurried on to the main battle. 

 

Sakura thought it must’ve been a hallucination, would continue to think so until much later when she learned about Tsunade-Sama the Slug Princess. 

 

The creature had healed her. She had heard it’s voice in her head, delicate and wise and unearthly. She had felt it search through her thoughts, dig through her memories, until it knew her better than she had known herself.

 

_ You’re a brave one, aren’t you. Selectively loyal. Protective to your core. But weak. Always too weak.  _

 

It stings, how loud the words are reverberating in her head, and what they mean. The fact that they are true and she knows it. 

 

_ A gift, little one.  _ It whispers, and it spits in her mouth and it burns. It burns viciously, corrosive, and she can feel the inside of her throat melting until the slug does something to heal that, too. It doesn’t feel like a gift.  _ Live, and protect the ones you love.  _

 

She doesn’t remember much after that. Not until she woke up back at camp, under Kiba’s watchful eye, and later, when she finally understands the gift she was given. 

 

When she wakes up from the dream, it’s with a renewed vigor for making her life in Konoha work. The medic had always served as a reminder for her motivations, and she hops out of bed to make her way to the training spot early and get some stretching in before her teammates can heckle her. 

 

She’s greeted by her Sensei, who tells her he’s got speciality training for her. 

 

“You’re smart, Sakura.”

She glows at the praise, bringing her hands to rest behind her back in an imitation of the long-distant motion she would make as a child when she was receiving attention from a respected adult. 

 

“You know to protect the mission, and to protect others. However, your moves are basic, limited, and self-hazardous. You were never taught self defense?” 

 

Sakura shook her head. “My teammates taught me what they could, but most of their techniques depended on their clan’s kekkei.”

 

Kakashi-sensei smiled. “It’s good to know your teammates were looking out for you.”

 

Sakura winced, but nodded. He took pity, and didn’t question why his words had hurt her, instead focusing on the purpose for their talk. If he was lucky, it was just over the reminder that her current team was less close-knit.

 

“Your teammates already know defensive tactics- it’s the first thing taught to clan students. While I teach them offensive moves, I want you to be practicing the defensive techniques I’ll be teaching you in the morning. This isn’t because I think you’re too weak for the offensive moves, but because you’re used to improvising offense and it’s obvious you’re capable enough at it as it is. Right now, Sakura, we must make sure you’re better at surviving your fights.”

 

Sakura is beaming, a bright, excited smile that fits into the fresh morning day as easily as the chirping birds and lazy sunshine do. Her wellbeing has never been a priority before, and this change is  _ amazing.  _ She nods eagerly, over and over, trying to express just how excited she is about this opportunity. 

 

“Ah, sensei- would you be willing…” She stuttered, trying to figure out if it was appropriate to ask for a favor on top of everything else. He looked on encouragingly, and she managed to finish, “would you be willing to teach me group defense moves? I’d like to- ah, protect my team as well as myself, you know?” 

 

“Maa, Sakura, I’d be happy to.” 

 

Kakashi does not think it’s too early in the day to have a favorite student. If it is, he’ll just wait until that evening to make it official, because he doubts the boys will do anything to change his mind in the meantime. 

 

He begins by teaching her the principle stances of Ba Gua, a good foundation for dodging in taijutsu. When she’d worn herself ragged perfecting the forms, he began to teach her a level C jutsu.

 

“It’s far out of your chakra levels right now, but if you practice enough, it will eventually be a key move for protection.”  

 

She sets her hands into the formations with a look of dogged determination. Kakashi would not be surprised if she mastered it within a month. 

 

She has collapsed from near-exhaustion twice by the time the boys arrive, clearly having expected Kakashi-Sensei to arrive late to the lesson. Naruto flops down near Sakura to chat about the joys of cloud-watching. Sasuke takes one look at her sweaty form and says, with a great deal of venom, "Disgusting." Sakura's reaction is contained enough that only the ANBU in the trees catch it. 

_Perhaps I overestimated._ Cat signs, and his partner grins back.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the kind messages!! 
> 
> of COURSE tsunade has to show up at some point, even in a camo, because she's possibly the best thing in sakura's life and i can't NOT include her. 
> 
> i was at a con this weekend and i saw a really hot girl cosplaying as genin sasuke and it reminded me that sasusaku is unfortunately a ship i like, so i might be writing a short thing for that soon. 
> 
> i like to think the anbu have a casual sign for just chatting that they made up in their downtime, and that a few of them have a sign for "laughing", because it's fun to picture a terrifying ninja splattered in blood saying the equivalent of LOL without a single change in expression. 
> 
> UPCOMING: kiba !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and like, groundwork for character development or whatever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my computers still broken but i borrowed a buds long enough to upload what i'd written on google docs! 
> 
> KIBA ! KIBA ! KIBA !

She must’ve done something right, because Naruto is slightly less terrified of her the next day, and when they finish catching that god awful cat, he accompanies her shopping. He puts up with her fusing over prices, and he teases her about how finicky she gets over her vegetable quality. She can pretend he’s a normal boy, just like he’s obviously pretending she’s a normal girl, and it’s like a faint reminder of her teammates that she’s still not allowed to see. If she squints, she can pretend he’s Kiba for a moment, and it makes it easier to be kind to him.

It’s nice, until she spots the Hyuuga Heir.

The girl has been trailing after them for a while, and she’s either terrible at espionage or not trying to stay hidden. At first, Sakura thought it was because of her, but she quickly realized it was because of Naruto. The girl kept twisting her hands, blushing when Naruto got loud and hiding with a yelp whenever he looked in her direction. It was ridiculous, and in another life, it might’ve been endearing. Here, now, Sakura finds it nothing more than pathetic. This is the girl kept out of the war? What has she done with her time, to be so terrible at even hiding a crush?

When the girl finally approaches them, an hour in to following them so poorly, it’s with an excuse about being happy to meet Sakura and to pass on Hyuuga well-wishes to the Hokage. She whimpers through the words and her eyes are fixed on Naruto, as she welcomes Sakura back to Konoha Village and asks her about the move.

She spits on the ground in front of the stuttering girl and keeps walking.  
  
“Sakura! Don’t be such an asshole!” Naruto calls out, before trying to reassure the girl right away that it’s not her fault, ‘Sakura is just mean like that’.   
  
He jogs to catch up with her then, and accusingly asks, “what’d she ever do to you, huh?”  
  
“The very second her father was born, I was destined to hate her.” Sakura replies, coolly, refusing to look back, channeling the sort of venom she’d picked up from their bitter Uchiha teammate. Fuck the girl and her soft ways, her blushing and her eagerness to please. She’d been allowed to be soft because her cousin was the dispensable one, because her father was five minutes earlier to the world. She hates herself, but right now, Sakura hates this girl more, and she’ll risk the backlash of insulting Hinata Hyuuga for the sake of the impulsive acts’ satisfaction.

“Waah- Sakura, you’re so mean sometimes.” Naruto pouts, and she flicks him on the forehead. The ANBU do not descend on her, with blades or chains, and she recalculates the limits she is allowed. Still, she’s pushed her luck enough, so she steps back from the boy and keeps her hands at her sides.

“I am, so stop getting on my nerves.” She teases. Naruto pouts, but follows her anyways, and she counts it as another victory. These are different victories than she is used to, but she’s learning to appreciate them.   
-  
They spend only two months on D-rank missions, wastes of time that Sakura loves for their lack of violence or treachery. She has no idea why it earns them the right to take the encroaching chuunin exams, but she assumes it has more to do with her teammates names than their tested abilities in the field. They are skilled, and Konoha wants to put on a good show for their new allies, unwilling to show a sign of weakness as obvious as keeping back clan heirs from the challenge.

There’s no use in avoiding the challenge or trying to back out. She has an obligation, and if she was more motivated by things like regard and public worth, she’d probably be honored that the Hokage was entrusting two vital clan heirs to her care. (after all, she’s the only one with experience in an actual fight, and even the hosting village cannot hide agents within the field without risking a scandal.) Instead she just feels resigned. If she’s lucky, they’ll pass and go separate ways, and she’ll never have to see them again- at least, not until she has to report to them as her superior officers.

Still. It’s important, another step forward in her life that so many of her comrades did not live to take. She owes a precious person a visit.

She waits until Kakashi has finally left his spot- grass worn down in the shape of his boots in front of the memorial- and claims it for herself. She scrubs at the names she recognizes until they’re free of dirt, before kneeling low and crossing her arms to concentrate. It’s the first time in a long time she spends her energy to sense for people around her, and when she’s certain she’s alone, she talks.  
  
“Neji-kun… I’m very sorry. I hope Akamaru is keeping you good company. Kiba says he thinks that Aka’s probably eaten all your nice shoes by now, but we both know you don’t really mind. You always had a soft spot for that dog. Kiba… he’s good. I’m still not allowed to see him for another month, but he gets to visit your real grave at the compound so maybe you already know that from him. His sister checks up on us both for each other, I think she still feels guilty about- well, you know.”  
  
She takes in a deep breath. “Both my teammates are clan heirs. I guess it was bound to happen. There’s only two non-clan genin who’ve graduated recently, besides me. I’m trying really hard to not hold it against them, but it’s hard. They don’t like me. I can’t blame them, but I wish… well, anyways, I miss you. I’m sorry.” Her breathing is getting uneven. “I met Hinata and did what you asked. I hope you can hear me. I hope things are okay for you. I know the Hyuuga don’t believe in an afterlife, but you mentioned reincarnation once…. I hope you’re born far away from here. A clan heir or a rich civilian. Something safe.”

Her voice wobbles, and she can feel hot tears drip down her cheeks silently. He’d been the one who taught her how to cry quietly, when she’d first been on the frontlines and so scared and small and a danger to their team from inexperience and frailty. He’d always been the one looking out for them, and they all knew it. He’d deserved better than to have her as a teammate, weighing him down.

She presses her head against the stone once, twice, three times. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll try very hard to be good. Thank you for your sacrifice.”  
  
She leaves a bowl of wine behind, sitting carefully at the base of the shrine.  
  
\--  
There’s an upside to the exams she hadn’t even considered until it was staring her in the face, all bright eyes and sharp-toothed grin.

“Kiba!” She shouted, darting forward to greet the boy with all the enthusiasm she can muster. Sakura has missed Kiba so intensely it feels as if the sight of him has given her back a piece of her. She’s hugging him before she even realizes it, and he’s spinning her around like he did when they’d first been on the frontlines and had time for silliness and kindness and dumb friend things.

“You okay?” He asks. He’s sniffing at her, so she pokes him on the nose and retorts, “Oh, like you aren’t checking for yourself right now?”

Naruto looks on with something like awe, and nudges at Sasuke. “Did you know Sakura could smile like that?”

Sasuke grunts, which probably means no.

Sakura gives him as thorough an inspection as he’s given her, sans heightened nose, and decides to give an approving nod. He’s a little on the thin side, but he’d always skipped meals when he was stressed, and he’s in good form overall. His sister has made good on her promise to make sure he’s keeping clean and not getting sick again, at least, and Sakura decides she’ll have to thank the girl later, clan heir or no. The Inuzuka have a terrible habit of worming past all her defenses and better judgement, after all.

“We’re hanging out after this, yeah?” she asks, hopeful.

Kiba grimaces. “Mom’s been checking. She doesn’t wanna risk whatever bullshit medical jargon they sold her on it. We’ll have to go the whole month, babe.”

They both scrunch their noses, an imitation of Tenten they’d picked up years ago, disgruntled at the seperation.

“Fuck. Well, then, we’d better make the most of it.” She tells him, standing to her full height and tilting her chin forward with confidence. “Your teammates?”

He matches her posture, returns her grin, and gestures towards a duo. She gestures towards her own, and they take off in opposing directions with a confident march.

Kiba gives a judgemental glance at the boys that obviously finds them lacking.

“Keep her safe.” He tells them, and Naruto laughs and says something about it just being a dumb exam, why’s everyone so worked up?, and Kiba’s nose twitches but holds back a biting response. “She’ll watch your back.” He continues, because the Uchiha is looking unkindly and it’s important they understand that Sakura is valuable, because Kiba knows clans and they do not care about weak links or soft spots unless they can get something out of the bargain. It’s true, anyways- she’s good in a fight, and sacrificial to a fault even for the cruelest of comrades. It drove Neji crazy, in the past, and Tenten had given the girl defensive weapon after defensive weapon in an attempt to make up for her risky behavior.

“She got her teammate killed in the war.” Sasuke says, derisively, “Why should we trust her with our safety, much less care about hers?”

There is a knife at his neck and a look in the boy’s eyes that say not to test him. “Don’t say shit about something you know nothing about.” Kiba says. “If she doesn’t get out of this alive, I’ll kill you both.”

“That’s a threat that could cause a civil war, you know.” Sasuke points out, because he refuses to back down even when all his instincts are telling him to run. Kiba isn’t an heir, but he’s still a clan head’s kid, and he’s threatening two valuable clan heirs in one breath.

Kiba’s grin stretches in an unsettling way across his face, and it allows Sasuke to see just how canine the boy’s teeth are.

“Good.” Kiba replies. “Then you’ll take it seriously.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little disjointed, couldn't do a lot to fix up connections since i can only borrow the computer so long. i've had that grave scene written for a while, though, since it's a big moment for sakura. 
> 
> did i make it seem like it was itachi who was her teammate for a while there? if not for you clever readers, than at least for sasuke... because yes, itachi's death is still going to be VERY plot relevant later on. 
> 
> love y'all ! have a good one ! dont let ur laptop fall of ur desk like a fool (Aka me) or else it will need repairs. 
> 
> KIBA ! KIBA ! KIBA !


	5. new friends and old

 

“Hey. You two.” Sakura says, gesturing at Kiba’s teammate and trying to contain her mounting anger at the sight of the Hyuuga. The Aburame heir adjusted his glasses, and she could feel his eyes on her.

“You must be Sakura Haruno. Why? Because no other kunoichi here has the pink hair Kiba-san has mentioned.” He says, and she blinks for a second in surprise before giving him a clipped nod.

“So you understand why it’s important to me that you don’t let Kiba get hurt. If you do…” She pauses, considering the safest words to use with a duo who she doubts will keep this to themselves. The Aburame seems the overly honest type, and Hyuuga a coward, so she has to keep it reserved for whoever they report this back to eventually. “If you do, I will ensure you understand my displeasure.”

It’s a Neji thing to say, really. The kind of cold words he’d use on others when he was bedridden from injuries and a stranger had to replace him on a mission. The Hyuuga doesn’t notice, and Sakura doubts the girl ever even knew her cousin existed, much less cared. 

Hyuuga flinches at the words, refusing to make eye contact, but the Aburame doesn’t seem to fully react. 

“Of course we intend to look after Kiba-san. Why? He is our teammate.” 

“I can appreciate that. Great start, Aburame-san. But you need to understand that there are  _ repercussions  _ for your failure. If Kiba has informed you about the war, then you know I don’t have much to lose. Keep that in mind when you have to make a choice between passing this exam or keeping Kiba in one piece.”

She waits to see if her words register, and when they clearly do- Hyuuga turning pale, Aburame shrinking into his coat ever so slightly- she sends them the sharpest smile she ever learned from Kiba during the war. “Great! See you around.” 

She walks away stiffly, giving Kiba a satisfied nod as they passed each other, and when she makes it back to her own teammates she can see he’s picked up some things from Neji as well. 

Sasuke looks pissed off, and Sakura’s starting to understand that anger is his secondary reaction to pretty much any emotion, but  _ especially  _ fear. 

“Don’t go sicking your friends on me, Haruno. It’s cowardly.” He hisses. The words might’ve hurt, if she cared about his opinion, but instead she just sends him an unaffected grin.

“I’m sorry nobody is concerned for your safety like Kiba cares about mine, but it’s not my fault, Sasuke-kun.” She says and she reaches out to pat him on the head, a move he barely dodges in time.

“Maybe you’d have some more friends if you had a better attitude?” She suggests, finger on her chin in a mockery of a thoughtful pose, eyes wide and faux-innocent. Before he can retort- and it’s obvious he wants to, from the way his eyes flash and his spine stiffens- she gestures towards the second floor door. “Oh, look, a genjutsu! Let’s get going, hm? Can’t be late for the very first test, can we?”

This is risky behavior, even for her, but the excitement of returning to battle thrums through her and lets her push her boundaries a little more. Sasuke might not like what she says, but he’s not a snitch, and she’s starting to realize it’s unlikely she’ll get punished for insults that don’t contain death threats. Probably. 

She shakes it off. Sasuke’s an Uchiha, but he’s not in charge of her water supply or medical care. He’s a bratty kid and he doesn’t control her life, and she won’t let him mess with her head when they’ve obviously got a fight coming up. 

 

The test is easy, surprisingly so. She doesn’t understand all of the questions- she didn’t have much time for bookwork on the battlefield, after all- but when it came to practicalities or reasoning out solutions, it wasn’t too difficult. And when she heard that final question, it was easy enough to understand the true point of this test- Ibikki had normally been busy, in the field, but she’d seen how he worked. Intimidation more than bite when it came to his own soldiers- he saved his teeth for the enemy. This was a courage test. 

It was one she was relieved her teammates passed. She can see Ibikki’s eyes glance at her, a moment longer than the others, and she shoots him a wisp of a smile. He recognized a soldier when he saw one, and she recognized a commanding officer who’d earned his position- no bloodline or clan to hasten his rise. She might not trust the man, or like him, but she could respect him. 

She spent the wait time paying close attention to the other contestants, trying to assess who would pose the greatest risk. A few of them look familiar, opponents and allies on the battlefield but never directly. Most villages where big enough they hadn’t had to rely on academy-age students as part of their recruits. It’s a relief to know she won’t be facing any old enemies who might hold a grudge. 

She sees the sand nins a second too late, because they’ve spotted her first. 

“Sasuke, Naruto, keep quiet and don’t pick a fight.” She hisses, gripping on their sleeves to keep them in place. They jerk at the motion, whipping their heads to stare at her, but they’re surprised enough that neither says anything. 

“I know you.” Says the monster pretending to be a boy, and she stares blankly forward. She has nightmares about this boy, ally or no. He’d  _ revelled  _ in the blood on the battlefield, no fear, no caution. He hadn’t needed it. Monsters don’t have to worry about dying. 

“We served together in the war.” She replies, stiffly, staring at his siblings next to him instead of looking at him directly. She remembers his eyes, and she doesn’t need the reminder. 

“Ah. Do you miss the war?” He asks, voice going light, and she can’t help a quick glance. His face is...  odd. Excited, energetic, but somehow still blank. His eyes communicate far more than she wants to know. “I miss it.” He adds, not waiting for a reply. “I miss proving my worth. Did you prove your worth?”

Her hands clench tighter on the sleeves of her teammates, and unwilling she finds herself shifting to stand in front of them. His eyes light up. “I see. I think I remember you. Temari, do you remember her?” 

The girl at his side winces. “She’s the one who...the blood got on, that time.” 

He’d needed a sacrificial guard duty, and she’d been part of the unit- one of the few to make it back. He liked to crush the bodies of his enemies with his sand, and this one had been above her, held up by sand and trapped in a cocoon of it, and it was good she hadn’t been looking up but focusing on the battle in front of her or else it’d have gotten in her eyes. 

He’d stared at her, blood in her hair, blood soaking her clothes, some of it dripping into her mouth when she’d gasped for air in the battle. His eyes had stayed on her far longer than she’d liked. 

“I look forward to seeing how you do in this… exam.” He says, and she shudders at the words, before he finally leaves, siblings sticking close behind him. She doesn’t envy them. Sakura finally unclenches her grasp on her teammate’s shoulders.

“Avoid him.” She says.

“You don’t need to tell me twice!” Naruto replies, shifting nervously on his feet behind her. Good, if they were both in agreement it would be easy to keep Sasuke from running in. 

“Hey- Sakura?”

Sakura whips around, surprised to hear her name. How many people here know her? 

It’s...the girl is vaguely familiar, but Sakura can’t put a finger on why. 

“It is you!” The girl says, at the sight of her face, and she runs up closer, doesn’t even notice the way Sakura tenses up at the quick approach. She looks surprisingly happy to see the pink-haired girl, and Sakura is desperately trying to understand why and failing. 

“You still keep your hair up.” The girl adds. She has long white-blonde hair and pale blue eyes (a little too close to Neji’s, it hurts to look at), and an apparent taste for the color purple. None of it is particularly familiar. 

“...Yes?” 

“You don’t recognize me, huh.”

“Afraid not.” Sakura replies, and she’s being honest. 

“That’s fair. We met just before it was time to enter the academy, so… it doesn’t matter. My name’s Ino, it’s good to see you again in one piece.” Ino informs her, keeping a polite distance and her hands visible at her sides now that she knows Sakura doesn’t remember her. It’s...kind of her. Sakura isn’t used to kindness like this. 

It pushes her to try and return the favor, and she gives a slight bow. “It’s good to get reacquainted, Ino-san.” 

“Not that this isn’t adorable or whatever, but you kiddos should be a little more focused on your upcoming life threatening test, am I right?”

There’s a woman leaning her arm so it rests on top of Naruto’s head, her tongue snaking out an improbably long distance to poke at Ino’s face, who fails to hide her visible disgust at the contact. “Especially since it’s about to begin in, mmm, _ NOW _ !” 

The mad dash to the entrance is instantaneous and immediately violent,  with the teams in the back shoving and willing to trample on those ahead of them to steal their head start. Ino’s team takes off, and Sakura’s follows in short order. The first few minutes is spent trying to seperate from the herd and prevent too big a gap between those with a lead. When they’ve finally made it far enough in, Sakura lets the tension release, letting out a sigh and loosening her limbs. Keeping yourself taught the entire time is a good way to wear yourself out far too soon, and she can only hope her teammates figure that out soon, especially Sasuke, who looks like he’s trying to posture himself to success. 

“What’s the plan?” Sakura asks, and waits for an order. There’s nothing. She tilts her head in confusion, squinting at the boys next to her respectively. Naruto shrugs, an embarrassed flush to his face. 

“I, uh, kinda assumed you’d handle it, Sakura?” 

Sasuke grunts. It’s a form of agreement. Sakura sighs, then focuses on Sasuke, because as a main family child he must’ve had some training for future leadership. Naruto might’ve, but she doubts it would’ve stuck with him. 

“I took orders, I didn’t give them.” she replies, exasperated. 

“...We set traps. Find a weak team to pick off first and lead them into it. Avoid the sand team.” Sasuke finally says, and Sakura shoots him an encouraging smile that takes him by surprise. It’s hard not to be lenient now that they’re on the battlefield, and for the first time, it feels like they’re actually a team. She watches as Sasuke flushes, before grimacing and jerking his head away from her approval. 

“Naruto, traps.” Sasuke says, and to Sakura’s surprise, the boy gets to work. Apparently being friends for so long lent Sasuke  _ some  _ influence over the blonde’s actions. “Sakura- scout out a team for us.” 

“Got it.” She says, nods to them both, and takes off. It’s nice to have orders again, instead of trying to  _ think  _ and  _ decide  _ all on her own. It’s so much easier this way. Find a weak team, report back, don’t die. Easy. 

She finds a few options- including that Ino girl’s team, which makes her feel a little bad, but she figures it’s for a superior to decide- and makes her way back to the camp at a good pace. When she gets there… everything is a disaster. 

Naruto is fighting a  _ giant snake,  _ and Sasuke is fighting a losing battle with a terrifying woman. No orders, but Sakura can’t freeze up here and wait for them. She might not like these boys- and they certainly don’t like her- but she’s not going to let them die on her watch. She’s sick of teammates dying. 

She takes a deep breath, sees the woman spot her, and dives in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna be honest, as much as i plan for stuff to happen in the forest of death, im getting a little sick of having to rewrite the same basic setup over and over for it. i wish there was a fanfic shorthand for "and then this bit is exactly the same as in canon so i dont have to write it", you know? 
> 
> at first i was gonna have ino focus on sasuke/ how she's TOTALLY still gonna be the one to end up with him, forehead, because she's a little spoiled and doesn't have her priorities in order yet...but it just didn't feel right. Kishimoto writes these girls fighting over boys enough as it is, so i decided Sakura would've left before she got a crush- or told anyone about it, at least- and that Ino just remembers her as the little girl she wanted to protect from bullies who ended up getting sent to war.   
> maybe she'll still be a bit Sasuke-focused, but more as an attempt to bond with sakura over something (And being very confused when sakura doesn't get it) than as an actual dispute. 
> 
> sakura's more wishy-washy about her reactions towards heirs and her teammates because she's about to enter a battleground for the first time since the war and it's throwing her off balance. she's trying to figure out how to weigh her values when they're clashing so directly. (Teammates are most important VS my teammates are dickbag heirs). hope i got that across okay? 
> 
> i was excited to bring in gaara, bc this gaara GOT to prove himself to his village, was encouraged to indulge in his bloodlust, and he's....weird bc of it. hes not suna's outcast, hes their freaky ace in the sleeve. 
> 
> let me know what ya think! ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiba's not gonna like this. Sakura certainly doesn't.

“What is _ that _ .” The woman says, with a look of scorn directed solely at Sakura’s bright pink head. 

“Sakura, run!” Sasuke shouts out, and honestly, why does he suddenly have to worry about her safety now? It just pushes her resolve all the further to stick around. The woman seems to find this hilarious, tilting her head far too far back for a crackling off-kilter laugh. 

“Oh, how rich! The little boy has a heart after all!” She teases.

Sakura is not paying attention to what the woman is saying- or the futile attempts sasuke is making to escape- because only idiots or prodigies waste time monologuing, and it seems likely that this woman is unfortunately the latter. So Sakura focuses herself on trying, desperately, to give them an escape route. If she was more present, she’d be yelling at herself to save Naruto first, brat that he is, because he’s the one with a Hokage dad who’d kill her if she doesn’t save him- but Sasuke is closer, and seems to have the far more terrifying opponent, and Sakura is stuck somewhere in the third war with bare-bone morals guiding her motions, not politics.

First, smoke bombs to block sight. Second, stink-bombs to mask scent tracking- courtesy of Naruto’s prankster habits. Third, release a flurry of shuriken in various directions to create some chaotic noise. 

This buys her at most three seconds, but that’s just enough time to help release Sasuke and drag him backwards, enacting one of the two jutsus she managed to learn during the war- Earthstyle Groundhog technique. They sink deep into the earth, and Sakura strains against the limitations of her chakra reserves to ensure they push far past her normal depth. More than just beyond a sense of smell or sound, she doubts that this woman will withhold from destroying the top layer of earth just to check. This escape being successful completely depends on if the woman doubts in Sakura’s abilities enough to not consider she might be able to enact a silent, handless jutsu instantaneously. If they’re lucky, the woman will go charging off to find them somewhere else in the forest. 

 

They stand, squeezed together, in utter darkness. Sasuke’s breathing is harsh and there’s the slimey feeling of his blood pressing against her head where it rests in his shoulder, but they both wait silently for what feels like an eternity- until the sound of a furious shriek reaches them. 

 

Still, it’s too risky for them both to go up at once. She knows he’ll hate her for this- more than he already does, if it’s possible- but she’s not willing to risk bringing him along with her. She releases herself from the jutsu and leaves Sasuke trapped, fingers-crossed that she won’t die before being able to save him from what would turn quite easily into an early grave. She shakes those thoughts quickly, knowing there’s no point to worrying and that Naruto  _ needs  _ her help. 

 

The woman is gone, but the snake remains, and Naruto doesn’t look like he’s fairing so well. He’s sagging on his left side, probably a sign of poisoning, but the snake at least is missing one of its’ fangs. Neither seem to notice her, so she considers her options carefully. She knows fewer jutsu then Naruto, and her chakra is nearly exhausted, which leaves her with practical skills. 

Thank god the system pays for her equipment, because it means she’s fully stocked with explosive tags. She yanks off her pouch, charging all the tags in her grasp, and leaves most of her equipment in the bag alongside them as shrapnel. The damn thing’s too risky to just throw from this distance, and despite every instinct screaming otherwise, the only way it’s going to work is if she gets closer.

“Naruto, stand back!” She shouts, and then throws herself at the jaws of the snake. 

_ Never, ever, doing this bullshit again.  _ She promises herself, before flinging the pouch as far down into the creature’s throat as she can and rolling forward, tearing her shoulder on one of it’s fangs. It reels back, but can’t gag fast enough- 

_ Bang! _

It’s middle in pieces, splattering both her and Naruto in bits of gore and unfortunate pieces of leftover shrapnel. Sakura can feel her shoulder numbing, her blood is soaking into her eyes- must’ve torn her head a bit, damn- and she can’t risk leaving Sasuke below any longer because she might not wake up from this. The snakecharmer’s sure to be on her way back, though, so Sakura stumbles towards Naruto and says, “Take Sasuke and  _ run _ . Signal for help.”

“I- I don’t-”

“No way...Hokage’d…. let you compete... without a signal. Use it.” Seeing him still hesitate, she spits out with some anger, “ _ This counts as an act of war, not part of the test. _ ” 

Naruto is honest to god pouting, and she’s decided stick-up-his-ass Sasuke is now her favorite because he’s meaner but he’s at least trying to understand the stakes. Naruto is obtuse, and right now, it might get all three of them killed, and after she went to so much effort to prevent it, too. 

Her legs give out, and Naruto’s eyes go wide. He must not’ve realized just how much harder this was on her then it was on him, and he mumbles, “I don’t want Kiba-san to kill me!” as she falls even further, barely able to move her arms. Her chin rests in the grass, a giant glob of snake-blood is soaking through the middle of her clothes, and she manages to twist her hands into the  _ release  _ for the groundhog justu just before she loses control over them entirely.

Naruto, thank god, is pulling something out of one of his million pouches as he runs over to pick up Sasuke- he finally listened to her, apparently.  _ Took him long enough,  _ she thinks, but without any venom to it. He listened soon enough. He’s dragging Sasuke away, signal going off, as the woman finally makes it back to the clearing. She peers down at Sakura, and Sakura uses the last of her energy to look back up at her. Sakura knows what a lost cause looks like when she sees it, and she might die but she’s just ruined this woman’s entire plot, whatever the hell it was. 

“You little-” The woman starts, and Sakura can’t grin but she would if she had the strength for it. Instead, she mumbles- and thank god ninja have such fine hearing, that she knows her presumably last words will be heard easily despite how little she can put into them- 

“Bitch.” 

Neji would be ashamed. Kiba would be proud. She blacks out before considering how Tenten would feel about it.

 

She wakes up on a much nicer cot then she’s ever used before, certainly better than the standard ones provided by the medic nin during the war. It’s enough to throw her off that she doesn’t react to the presence of at least three people in the room, long enough for her to fully come to her senses and realize that it’s her teammates and- god, is that the Hokage?

“Sakura.” 

That’s the Hokage. He glances towards her teammates, his overeager son barely restraining himself from yelling or leaping onto the cot with her, and gives a sort of humble tilt to his voice as he says, “Could we have the room for a moment? I’d like to thank her personally.”

They shuffle out- Naruto particularly unwillingly, but Sakura is amused to see even Sasuke seems intent on staying nearby- and Minato-sama turns his full antention towards her. She stills, breathing suddenly becoming more difficult, and tries to figure out how to apply proper form when she can barely move and she’s flat on her back. She manages a nod, closest she can get to a bow, and he smiles at her. It makes her uneasy.

“Now, now, Sakura-chan, you saved my son! There’s no need to be so formal.” He says, and she wants to relax, at the very least for his sake, but she can’t. Everything about him sets her on edge, even his instance on informality. “Truly, I’m indebted to you for what you’ve done. Saving the sole Uchiha heir  _ and  _ my son, Konoha owes you a great deal.”

“They’re my teammates.” She points out, and it’s the simple truth. Her actions should’ve been motivated by the knowledge that she’d suffer torture if she lived and they didn’t, or for the greater good of Konoha- but she’d been half out of her mind at the time, purely motivated by the fact that this was her team, and she’d be damned if they died before she did again. Something in Minato-Sama’s face softens a fraction, just barely, and it’s enough for Sakura to know this is more than just due diligence in thanking an underling.

“Very impressive, that a genin with so little to her title was able to hold off a Saanin. Practically a miracle, really.” 

His tone is as light as it was before, but Sakura can feel her body shutting down at the words to hide the shudder trying to rack her body. She’s suddenly very glad that most of her muscles are still affected by the poison enough to show her reaction. 

_ He thinks she might be a spy.  _

“Barely, Hokage-Sama.” She says, voice wobbling. “And it was a matter of evasion more than a fight. I wouldn’t have survived, sir, if it were an actual battle, or if the opponent had taken me as a threat in the slightest.”

He nods, a bright smile returning to his face, but she’s not reassured. He might be indebted to her right now, but a threat is a threat, and he’d not have made it to Hokage if he wasn’t willing to take care of the messy, guilt-inducing aspects of the job. He won’t act now, but those eyes she’s been feeling chasing her- something tells her it’s only going to get worse.

“Of course, Sakura-chan, very true.” He claps his hands together, excitedly, a mockery of his son’s genuine joy- or perhaps the man truly is capable of switching so seamlessly between future dangers and present wonders, connections between the two not withstanding, and calls out, “You can all come back in, now!”

Naruto races back through the door, taking a misstep and stumbling slightly before pointing at his father and saying, “What’d you talk about that was so secretive, huh?” 

Minato-sama shrugs. “ I’ve promised Sakura-chan a pony for good behavior, of course.”

“No way! You wouldn’t even get  _ me  _ a pony when I wanted one! He’s lying, Sakura, right?”

It might be a joke, but she’s not about to contradict her Hokage. “Are you both okay?” She asks instead, and Naruto instantly loses focus. 

“Oh, yeah, totally! They had to give me the antivenom and some blood trans-confusion or whatever, but I’m fine now!”

She tilts her head at Sasuke, who turns his head away quickly to avoid her gaze before admitting, “I’m fine.”

“He had all these gross rope burns n’ stuff from the snakey arms, the liar! It’s cool though, the healers fixed him up and said he only had like  _ one  _ broken bone.”

Minato-Sama laughed, deep and loud and terrifying, and then patted Naruto on the head and Sasuke on the shoulder. “Unfortunately, I’ve got to get back to work- I’ll leave you to your reunion.” 

Sakura only feels like she can breath again when she can’t hear his footsteps anymore. Kakashi takes a spot in the back of the room, sitting backwards on a chair in a very undignified manner, and pretends to focus on reading his book, presumably to give them the illusion of privacy. Naruto looks like he’s fit to bursting with a question, something that’s been weighing on him as long as she’s been asleep, so she prompts, “Naruto?” 

He startles, and then jumps at  the chance, leaning in close to watch her expressions. Or maybe all that yelling has left him hard of hearing, and he’s reading her lips to make sure he catches her answer.

“Why would you protect us? We’re so  _ mean  _ to you. Especially Sasuke.” Naruto asks, gesturing towards Sasuke helpfully as he adds the last part, and Sasuke glours but does not correct him. He wants an answer, too. 

“You’re my teammates.” She says, like that’s enough. For her, it is. “I will never be the last to die.” 

_ Why does everyone suspect a secret motive?  _ She wonders, but she doesn’t press. She can’t promise that she could save them. She can only promise what she has to offer- meager skills and a lifetime of experience. She can only hope it’s enough. 

“Woah, Sakura...you’re not scary! You’re cool!” Naruto cheers, and goes to sling an arm around her shoulders. She startles, but her movement is still limited, so after a moment she sinks back into the show of affection. Sasuke sheepishly hovers over their shoulders, unwilling to join in but seeming a little adrift at having been left out of the display. When Naruto tugs him in, he allows himself to be pulled into the hug for a moment, before dragging himself a way a moment too late to have been genuine revulsion at the embrace. 

 

Well, it’s a start- for all of them, really. At the very least, he won’t be able to call her disgusting so easily anymore. Sakura is willing to take what she can get. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakura, assuming she's about to die, talking to Orochimaru: https://i.pinimg.com/236x/dc/28/ec/dc28ec689fcac057737763469ebec0c7.jpg
> 
> the interesting thing about minato is that he genuinely is a light-hearted, well meaning dude- but he's also a military dictator who needs a skill for manipulation to thrive in politics (which obviously he does). Sakura's used to wartorn men who express little emotion, or overly cheerful dudes somehow impervious to the war, but this guy is absolutely freaking her out because he's both and can't read him at all, and also, he's in charge of if she lives or dies, GREAT. minato would love for sakura to have hit a lucky break and saved his kid (Read: what actually happened) but she's a girl whose file was so bland and skills so unremarkable he barely remembers her name even now- the chances that she's a spy and this was a setup to gain his trust are just too high. (kabuto, somehwere in that very hospital in that very moment: my irony senses are tingling!) the fact that shes suddenly gonna be his sons favorite dinner topic is NOT gonna be his favorite thing, to say the least. suck it up, minato, it's the price you pay when you run an empire of blood and are mean to little girls with pink hair
> 
> (*also, tenten would be torn because bitch is a gendered slur but also, like, bastard would've used more syllables and she gets that sakura didn't have much mouth movement abilities at the time so she'll let it slide JUST THIS ONCE)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura gets to rest, and the rest of team seven makes some big changes.

“It’s, like, super cool that Sakura-chan saved us.” Naruto mumbled. Both boys had been kicked out of the hospital so their teammate could rest, so they sat outside on the nearest hill and focused on the sensation of prickling sun flicking through the tree leaves, disturbing their shade, and tried to distract themselves from their failures. It wasn’t working. “She was really smart. And- nice. I kinda feel bad that I thought she was scary.” 

“Hn.”

“Do you think it was like that, normally? For- I guess not just her, but everybody who left the academy when we had to stay?”

“...Probably. Itachi didn’t like to talk about it.”

Naruto winced, turned his attention to the flowers he’d been plucking at. His hands were slightly stained pink from the petals, and he released a clump of them into the breeze, watching as they fluttered away. Wasteful of him, now that he thought about it. It certainly didn’t make him feel any better. 

“It really sucks, though.”

“Hm?”

“She had to do  _ everything.  _ We’re- we’re supposed to be special, right? Extra-kickass, like dad! But instead I- I couldn’t do anything. She had to save you,  _ and  _ me. I couldn’t even carry both of you when I ran away.” 

“Yeah.” Sasuke says, but Naruto’s known him for years and that word has layers and layers of guilt and anger built up in it. Sasuke’s not used to losing, but being helped is even more foreign a concept. 

“We gotta get better.”

“How’re we gonna do that, dumbass?” Sasuke asked, finally snapping. “Not like we haven’t been training like crazy for years already.”

“Well, yeah, but- maybe we’ve been training wrong?”

Sasuke tilted his head, unwilling to concede Naruto might have a point but willing to listen.

“People don’t fight like us. Maybe trying to- to fight like we’re  _ next level  _ won’t work until we understand how everybody else does it.”

“....Fine.” Sasuke stands up, brushing off some of the petals that Naruto had sprinkled onto him in his pique. “Let’s go ask Kakashi.” 

Naruto jumped up, happy to follow along. Anything was better than sitting there, doing  _ nothing,  _ waiting for someone else to solve his problems. He has a feeling he’s been doing that more than he realized, before, and he doesn’t like that at all. 

It doesn’t take them long to find the man, and despite his usual avoidance of the job, he seems happy to listen to their requests. 

Kakashi smiled down at the two boys standing before him, both eager in their own ways to learn. Naruto is struggling to contain his nervous energy, fists at his side and eyes focused brightly on Kakashi. Sasuke keeps his fingers dancing across his weapons, a nervous tic that gives away just how important this is for him to.

“You want to learn how to protect your teammates. The truth is- this will go against your direct training. What you learned in the academy, you learned because you’re valuable to the village, more valuable than most chuunin. You’re taught to fight in ways that can hurt those around you, and your defense was never meant to extend to others. The first step is accepting that this is false. You’ve done that.”

He pauses, eyeing the pair of them. The disaster of the exams was perhaps worth it just for this, the sort of growth he’d been hoping would show up in them and had failed to for so long. “Now you have to understand that most people are taught the same thing you were.”

“Sensei?”

It’s Naruto who asks, but the question is from both of them.

“Most nin know they’re canonfodder, especially during a war. A belief that there are more valuable people is essential to maintaining order among the troops. If you want to protect your team, you have to understand that. Sakura is expendable.”

They jerk to attention at his words, complaints on the tip of Naruto’s tongue. Kakashi silences them both with a stern look. “She  _ is.  _ She doesn’t have a bloodline to pass on, or a clan to control. She has no important connections, no extensive training. As far as this village is concerned, she’s a loss they can suffer, and you are not. Sakura knows she’s expendable, and she’s been raised to fight like it. That means, in a battle, you can’t just accept her strategy. You can’t take her at her word. Because she will  _ always  _ put you first, and if you want to be a good teammate- if you want to keep her alive- you have to do the same for her, and  _ more.  _ Because you  _ are  _ more powerful than Sakura, and you  _ do  _ hold more influence than she does.”

“You’re not just talking about the battlefield, are you.” Sasuke points out, can see the calculated way in which Kakashi has phrased this. Kakashi gives him a sharp grin. 

“Your influence extends beyond future rank, yes.” 

Naruto is obviously taking his time mulling this over, before finally asking, “How do I use it?”

The ANBU in the trees behind them sign their laughs not only to each other, but at Kakashi as well, so humorous is the idea of Naruto as a manipulative figure. Kakashi sighs, and refocuses on the students before him. 

“Do you have a situation in mind, Naruto-kun, because that’s a rather….open question.”

“Well, I- I think…” Naruto stumbles for a second, glancing towards Sasuke for reassurance. “I think Dad’s, you know, nervous, about Sakura-chan, and I don’t want her to get hurt like some of my friends have.”

“Nervous?” Sasuke asks, as Kakashi files away this mention of  _ other friends  _ as something else to look into down the line. 

“He keeps asking me the same stuff he’d ask before a new friend went missing during the academy, yeah? Like- about how she acts, or talks, and stuff. He’s just really overprotective about, like, kidnappings and stuff after Hinata nearly got taken that one time? But I  _ know  _ Sakura-chan wouldn’t hurt me, and I don’t know how to make Dad know that.”

“Minato-sama thinks Sakura is a traitor?” Kakashi asks, a slight quiver to his lips as he does. He’d known Sakura was under watch, but he’d assumed that was just a precaution, and as much for her own safety as it was for her teammates. Naruto nods, and Kakashi’s heart sinks. 

“Ugh.” Kakashi says, before gesturing to the ANBU in the tree with a forced casualness. “You two, stop that and get down here. I need to talk to the Hokage-sama, which means you’re on babysitting duty.”

“Hey!” Naruto and Sasuke protested in unison, but Kakashi hushed them and continued, 

“Teach them evasion basics, they’re total shit at it in team formations.”

The ANBU glance at each other, than back at Kakashi. “Permission to use live steel?” They ask, and Kakashi spares a chuckle even as he makes his escape the the Hokage Tower. 

“Of course! Only the best for my cute little students!” 

His arrival at the tower is as dramatic as he can manage, and ignoring the secretary means it’s a matter of moments before he can send as much judgemental energy towards his Sensei as he can muster. Practice with Gai means this is a rather impressive amount. 

“Sensei, you can’t be serious.” Kakashi complained, dragging a hand across his face. 

“Kakashi, I know you’ve got a soft spot for your students, but you have to admit her success in the forest of death is… highly suspicious.”

“She’s paranoid, hyper-vigilant, and prone to having episodes. She’d make a terrible spy in the state she’s in, Sensei,  _ please. _ ” He could see his words had some sway, and pushed forward carefully. “All the progress we’ve made with Naruto could be lost if you take away Sakura. Sasuke, too- they’re both using her as a motivator, and it’s risky to try and change that so early. Sensei- just. Use a Yamanaka on her, okay? Even a cursory glance should tell you it’s enough.”

“If you’re so sure she’s not a problem, why is the surveillance an issue?”

“Because she’s already paranoid, and being constantly watched is putting her so on edge I’m half tempted to consider it a suicide risk.” 

“...Fine. I’ll trust your judgement and remove the tails if she passes a Yamanaka assessment. Don’t say your Sensei never does anything for you, Kakashi-kun.”

It takes a matter of hours for Minato to set up despite himself, would’ve taken less time if he hadn’t prioritized finishing his paperwork for the day. 

_ (The man is scary. Sakura thinks this might be the point.  _

_ He digs into her brain with thick, worn fingers. He’s not used to being delicate about this, but he tries. He sends her out without telling her how she did.) _

“She’s normal, Hokage-sama.”

“Normal?”

“Like every other Konoha soldier I’ve seen who got back recently. Way more paranoid, maybe, but loyal as hell. She’s fuckin’ crazy about her teammates, too, especially the dead Hyuuga, got a little shrine for him in her head practically. She’s not gonna risk shit that would damage his memory.” 

The Yamanaka pauses, and then adds, “Actually, I’d ask to have her put on guard duty if you’re open to it.”

“Really? For what reason?”

“She’s loyal, obviously, but she’s also a rule follower. Don’t have to worry about her tormenting prisoners, fucking with their food or anything, and messing up the investigations. Put her with a Yamanaka and she’d be a good backup. Plus- she’s got some money concerns. Nothing major, since she’s got that war stipend, but it’s barely there given how much went towards the Hyuuga payments. So she’d be real motivated to do her job right, keep food on the table. Not like you’re gonna let Team Seven run a bunch of D-rank errands, so she’s gonna need the income from somewhere.”

“Well, if she really is a loyal soldier… I certainly owe her a job, at the least.” Minato smiled brightly at the Yamanaka, gave him a sturdy pat on the back, and a decisive nod. “Go ahead and offer her the job. I’ll talk to Kakashi about making sure she’ll have time for it, since he’ll want to gloat about being right about her.” 

Of course, Minato can’t be too upset when Kakashi does, indeed, slyly brag about being right for the rest of the week. After all, a Sensei always knows their students best. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the flow on this isn't great, i did my best but struggled with how many scenes i wanted to include vs how bad i am at transitions, lol. boys are changing! sasuke's got a big chapter coming up. Naruto tends towards heroworship, and who that hero is might be changing from a certain hokage... into someone short, pink, and angry all over. Kakashi never did tell him how to use his influence, tho. Maybe tattling to teacher is naruto's divine purpose.
> 
> hmm, i wonder what Sakura's new job might result in.....definitely nothing plot relevant, i'm sure, don't worry about it minato. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> none of them are ready. no one ever is.

Evading the ANBU agents is exhausting, particularly when Naruto begins to lean on Sasuke for support as if the dark-haired boy isn’t equally worn out from the chase. Sasuke, at least, had realized that the ANBU were aiming for near-misses with their blades, not hits, and spent less effort on dodging the kunai and senbon sent towards them, but Naruto was less observant and had wasted energy on wild leaps and slides to avoid getting hit.

When they’re finally deemed too tired to continue- an hour after Sasuke begins to contemplate throwing Naruto at the pair and calling it a day- both boys walk home with dragging feet and no bravado. Whatever they were meant to learn, Sasuke doubted they’d actually discovered it.

He collapses on his bed, skipping dinner or changing for the simple peace of sleep- and can’t find it. Tired as he is, his actions today play on a loop, and his attempts to smother himself with his pillow prove futile in escaping his doubts.Regardless of what he’d said- or rather, not said- his actions were as motivated by Sakura as Naruto’s were. He wanted to be her equal, he wanted to look out for her, he wanted to earn what she’d done for him- and he hates himself for it.

Because Sakura is responsible for the greatest loss in his life, and all he should owe her is a painful death. Or-

He’d thought that, before. But then the Chuunin exams had come, and he’d realized...that war was less simple than he’d thought. Maybe Itachi’s sacrifice for her didn’t merit a brutal murder, but it certainly should prevent him from caring about her. Should keep him from looking up to her, like he used to look up to Itachi, and what sort of traitor is he that he abandons the memory of his brother so quickly just because someone else tried to look out for him?

It takes hours to fall asleep, and all he finds are nightmares of a long-dead brother to comfort him. When he wakes up, exhausted, he knows what he has to do, or else he’ll end up chasing Itachi to his death.

It doesn’t take long to find her. She’s at the memorial stone, head pressed to the ground and mouth moving silently to words he can’t make out. Her bright pink hair is a sharp contrast to the dark grey morning, and the sight of her sends his head spinning. This confrontation had to happen eventually, but that it happens here, where Itachi might hear, while this girl offers up apologies-

His heart twists in a mixture of rage and self-doubt. How can he hate her when she clearly hates herself? _How can he not?_

“Why did you save me, and not _him_?” Sasuke finally asks, voice accusing, but eyes shuttered. Sakura jerks up, finally noticing his presence, and stands up cautiously.

“What are you talking about?”

That sparks a fire in him, that she’d pretend not to know when the guilt is staring them both in the face, enough for him to meet her eyes and grab at her shirt, tugging her closer to practically shout in her face, “You got my brother killed!”

  
It’s laughable, really. She’s so used to feeling guilt, but right now, faced with a murder accusation, all she can feel is annoyance. Of all the deaths you could pin on her, this is one of the few she won’t accept the blame for.

  
“Sasuke… I’ve only served with one Uchiha in my entire career, and his name was Shishui- and he didn’t die until two years after I’d last seen him. You really think, even when desperate, they’d put a main family boy with a civilian weakling?”

That stops him, like nothing else she could say. He can tell she isn’t lying, and this girl has tilted his world all over again.

  
“So- my brother…” His voice is ragged, drawing off, before he seems to find enough courage and continues, “Did you know an Uchiha Itachi?”

  
Did she? Of course. He’d been exemplary, and a clan heir- first to receive medical care, first in line for rations, best supplies and most important missions. He’d seemed kind. Never used his rank against the others deliberately.

  
She wants to say all that, but she can’t, because his life is far outshadowed by his death in her mind.   
“Seven new recruits died retrieving his body.” Is what she has to say instead, because it’s the truth that haunted her for weeks. If she’d been sent on that mission… She probably would never have made it back.

  
“They weren’t allowed to burn it, because he was a clan heir and his parents wanted the luxury of burying his body. So they died, one after the other, dragging his corpse across enemy territory. Only two survived. His dead body was worth more than all of their lives.”

  
This was why she hated Uchiha Itachi, through no fault of his own. His eyes and his blood and earned him better care than any of her equals, in life and in death.

  
“You’re lying.”

  
She shrugs. She didn’t have anything more to say, and if he doesn’t want to believe her, that’s his call.

  
“It’s- someone killed him! _Someone has to be to blame._ ”

Desperate. He’s on the edge of a breakdown, if he wasn’t already, that much is obvious. That, she understood. “Sasuke, you’re an idiot. Haven’t you ever wondered why your brother fought in the first place?”

  
He looks at her with contempt. “The good of Konoha, the honor of the Uchiha clan, the-”

  
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about.” She interrupts. “Itachi, Itachi, Itachi. It’s admirable you love your brother so much, Sasuke, but I didn’t mean for you to reflect on his personal values. I meant, have you ever wondered why a clan heir to the village’s most powerful bloodline fought in the war, on the frontlines?”   
Silence. She presses forward, eagerly, “For that matter, the entire Uchiha clan fought, with you being the sole exemption. The clan head, the council of elders, every child and parent served, even the ones who’d been retired or were pregnant, or else you would’ve had a grandmother or aunt or _someone_ left, Sasuke.”

  
“No. No, I’ve never thought about that.” he admitted, furious to acknowledge that he didn’t know something.

  
“The man responsible for your brother’s death is your best friend’s father. Minato Namikaze found out the Uchiha were planning a revolt, and he went with the kind, face-saving option for them. Every last one of them was ordered into battle, into mission after mission, and the only reason you were left out was because your bloodline limit is so useful to the village and you were too young to be part of the planning. Sasuke, you’re a fucking _bull_ from a herd that was culled.”

  
“Even now, you don’t get it. I’m telling you you’ve been cheated out of the privileges that come with your title, the luxuries of being born at the top. You missed out on exemptions that most of us have never dared to hope for, and you need to shut up and think about that for a while, Uchiha. Because if my family had planned a rebellion, my body would be drawn and quartered in the public square, damn my age or my family’s honor. The Uchiha clan died because it was forced to live like the rest of us do- like rats.”

  
She is smiling, sharp, jagged, half broken, as she whispers, “We are all just vermin to that man. Allowed to pretend we scurry unnoticed, until Konoha grows hungry.”

  
“ _I’ll kill him_.”

For once, she sees why Ino finds him so beautiful. It barely registers through her pity for this boy who’s finally learning what she had to years ago, searching desperately to find a way to fit the truth into his worldview and finding no answers.

  
“It’s an idea, Sasuke-kun, but who do you think takes his place? Perhaps the council of elders, who had just as much a role in the orders as he did. But maybe you kill all twelve of them, too. Who then? The Hyuuga? A clan of brother-killers to rule us all?”

  
“Then what can I do?” he asks, practically wails, clutching onto her guidance like a lifeline.

  
“Survive. Be worth something to the village so it won’t feed you to the fire. Or set up someone you trust to rule, kill the rest, and flee. At this point, I don’t really care either way.”

  
“And you?”

  
“I don’t have the luxury of choice. I’ll stay with my team until we die, wherever and however it happens. Because it _will_ happen, eventually, no matter how hard I try. It always does.”

She pretends she can’t see him crying, and he lets her. It’s the nicest thing they can do for each other, in this moment,  and when Sakura leaves Sasuke collapses before the memorial and sends his frantic to apologies to every name he can think of, his brother most of all.

He finally sees the will of fire for what it is: a thing that uses, and turns lives to ash. There’s no turning back.

 

He spends their training days silent but devoted. Careful to listen to every instruction Kakashi provides, observant of every move Sakura makes. He keeps a firm grasp on Naruto’s side, and tunes out the boy’s optimistic chatter. He tries, he _tries,_ to do everything perfectly. There’s no more barriers left in him to pretend that this team is not his world, and that there’s anything but their abilities to keep them from leaving him like everyone else for a shallow grave. The mistakes Naruto makes in training that the boy laughs off now could get him killed. Every trip, and misaligned toss of a kunai, sends Sasuke’s heart off like a rocket. The constant reminders that Sakura knows so _little_ about how to fight, every time she falls into an academy stance with no alterations to fit her form, his heartbeat halts.

 _Not good enough,_ the training tells him, and every move he knows has a danger of backfiring on the people around him. _Not good enough._

He finally snaps when Naruto dodges a kunai that thunks into the tree above Sakura, where she’s carefully studying a book on strategy. (Sasuke pretends he doesn’t see how often one of Kakashi’s clones has to teach her what the words mean. Little girls on battlefields are not expected to know how to read.) The clone who’d tossed it seemed ready enough to lightly reprimand the boy, but he doesn’t get the chance. Sasuke slams into him, knocks him to the ground, and bares his teeth.

“Fucking _idiot!_ ” He yells, and Naruto’s too shocked to do anything but listen. “Do you ever _think_ before you move?”

“It’s just training!” Naruto defends. “It’s not like Kakashi would-”

“Shut up!” Sasuke says, and when he draws his hand back to slap the boy, he feels the grasp of an ANBU’s hand on his arm. He jerks free from their grasp and stands upright on shaky legs. “What do you think we’re training _for_?” He spits out, before walking unsteadily towards Sakura.

She’s still frozen in place, eyes twitching back and forth, and it’s happened often enough that he’s learned from Kakashi how to handle it. He murmurs reminders to her, inspections of location, orders her to pay attention to the tangible things that prove she’s safe, the war is over, this is Konoha.

Naruto lays in the dirt and listens, the clawing anxiety he’s fought so hard these past few weeks finally bubbling over. _Not good enough._ It says, just like it does every time his instincts throw his teammates into danger, every time he trips, every time Sasuke tries a technique that throws him into a chakra exhaustion so severe that he lands a spot in the hospital. _Not good enough._

He could lie to himself as long as his teammates let him, but the harsh reality had to hit eventually. They’re training to stay alive, and right now, he’d get them all killed.

None of them are ready for the battlefield. None of them. Naruto can only hope they will be before their time runs out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, no pairings in this fic. just unhealthily codependant teammates.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, things are nice.

Sakura’s first few days as a guard are, by definition, uneventful. She’s bored out of her mind, but the thick walls and uneasy silence is comforting. It’s nothing like her previous service, and while she’s still on edge at times-  _ what if they keep me here, what if I get trapped, what if a prisoner escapes and attacks and the walls are too close for me to escape-  _ there’s no loss of time like she gets while training. 

It also gives her a most glorious gift: a psych eval, passed with flying colors, which means the rules separating her from her team no longer apply. It takes a week to get that particular information to the right people, but as soon as she has permission, she ends her work day by standing outside the Inuzuka clan’s gates, legs folded in a pretzel as tightly knit as her nerves, breath caught in her throat. 

She hears him before she sees him, which is so fundamentally  _ Kiba  _ it makes her laugh, loud and clear, and she sees as he hears it, sees his nose twitch and his head shoot up and his eyes widen, and he’s walking with his sister who’s got this smile on her face- she must’ve known, then, might’ve even been the one who pushed the paperwork through, and damn if Sakura isn’t going soft for her clan heir or not- and it’s a matter of seconds before she’s got an armful of her teammate, sending her sprawling across the pavement with new scrapes and bruises she’s happy to take for the sake of the affection.

“Sakura!” He shouts, wriggling to get a better grip on her and rubbing their cheeks together in an attempt at marking. “God, you stink.” He informs her, nose crinkled but eyes bright. She cackles, knowing full-well it’s the smell of her new teammates that’s annoying him, not her long stints without bathes or her hours working underground. They sit there for a few minutes, Kiba working hard to make sure she smells like pack again and Sakura happy to let him, before Hana makes a polite coughing sound to remind them that this is a  _ village,  _ not a dirty tent in the middle of a battlezone.

They both stand up, but Kiba’s leaning against her and Sakura against him, and the fondness in Hana’s eyes promises they won’t be seperating again too quickly. “Mom’s not gonna be mad, right?” Kiba finally asks, remembering that they’re not supposed to see each other still, as far as he knows, and Hana chuckles and shakes her head. 

“No, dumbass, though you probably should’ve asked that  _ before  _ making sure every Inuzuka from here to Suna could tell who Sakura’s been hanging out with.”

Kiba blushes at the words but keeps his head up, and Sakura tries to keep her own laugh to herself. “I’ve got a job. They passed me for it, which means-”

“ _ No more waiting! _ ” Kiba interrupts, breathless, clearly delighted this isn’t some passing visit to slip under the radar. “Hana, we’re gonna go see Tenten, see you later!” He adds, quickly, taking Sakura by the hand and happily dragging her in the direction of town. 

Tenten. God, Sakura has missed her. All her searching, as secretive as she had to be about it, hadn’t turned up the girl- but she didn’t have a clan compound to check like Kiba’s, after all. Kiba’s got his nose, though, which is as good as any map, and Sakura doesn’t mind being led around like a dog on a leash when it’s Kiba at the end of it, tugging her towards what remains of her first cell. 

They end up in the middle of the village, all bright noise and people and chaos, little kids running around and shopkeeps yelling out deals. Sakura avoids this place, normally, and can only think that  _ of course  _ their oldest teammate would be strong enough to handle so much more than she can. Tenten was built of stronger stuff than anyone Sakura knows, and this is far from the first time the girl’s proved it. 

Kiba leads her around back some way, earning the scandalized looks of some civilian mothers that Kiba doesn’t even notice- and Sakura wants to laugh at the gossip that’ll stir, from the looks of it- until they’re behind a store and standing at it’s back door.

A minute passes, then two, but when Sakura tries to ask Kiba what they’re waiting for he shushes her, and then the door opens and there’s Tenten, a pack of cigarettes in her hand and her head turned to call something over her shoulder about going on break, and then-

Then she’s facing front and the door slams behind her and the pack falls to the ground.

“Oh my god.” 

It’s the only words out of her mouth before the girl bursts into tears. Sakura and Kiba dart forward, wrap their arms around her and collapse as a group to the ground. Somewhere along the way the sobs turned into laughter, and now all three are a mess of emotions finally coming unbottled.

“God, let me get a look at you.” Tenten says, tilting Kiba’s face in her hands for inspection and then Sakura’s quickly after. She gives Kiba twitch ot the nose as she curls her own, saying, “Kiba, you know you’re supposed to be eating better. You’re looking all boney again.”

“Ah, hey, what about Sakura’s new scars?” Kiba points out quickly, and Sakura barely manages to shoot him a look of betrayal before Tenten’s focus is entirely on her. She forgives him, silently, when he takes the distraction to steal the pack of cigarettes from Tenten and slip them away. They sit on ground, fussing at each other and teasing, until the back door opens and another employee steps out.

“Your team?” The guy asks, and even with half his face ruined with scarring, the expression is clearly fond. Tenten nods, and he sighs. “Take the day off and visit, just this once.”

He slams the backdoor shut before any of them can respond, but Tenten is quick to drag them up and away from the alleyway with a frightening amount of enthusiasm. 

They spend the time catching up in all the ways they’re used to, and a few new. Discussions of new teams, the ridiculous habits of clan heirs and the Hyuuga’s main house, muttered complaints about food and old injuries flaring up again. They take turn reprimanding each other for their vices- Tenten’s smoking, Kiba’s gauntness, Sakura’s fresh bruises. 

“Is your team...good?” Tenten asks, finally, the words loaded in a way that hurts Sakura to hear. Tenten is kind, but she isn’t soft, and she’s had something of a deathwish ever since Neji had died. Sakura would not be surprised that Tenten would do something if she gave the wrong answer to this question, the sort of thing that would land Tenten in a cell if she was lucky and a grave if she was not. Being loved is not always easy. 

“They’re improving.” Is what she says, because it’s true and Kiba has always been good at sniffing out lies. “Especially Naruto.” 

It’s all she has to say on the matter, but it’s enough.

They stay together as long as they can, and when they finally part ways, it’s with promises to reunite and being searching for a way to stay together. An apartment to split, maybe, but a more permanent thing to follow when they can find it. It lets Sakura go to work with a warmth trapped in her, like she’s snuck a piece of sunlight down to the cavernous jail to keep her company. It sits snug in her heart next to her guilt over Neji, and while neither consumes the other, she feels lighter all the same. Finally, she can help her teammates. Old ones and new. 

She’s more careful than ever to keep the slug’s gift to herself. She doesn’t know what it means, that the gift still sits heavy in the back of her throat, when Tsunade-sama has long since passed, but she doubts it would mean anything good for her or her loved ones. 

Sasuke has been playing at being her shadow, but it doesn’t bother her like the ANBU tails had. Perhaps it’s because he’s so terrible at it, or because he’s her teammate, but she really can’t bring herself to mind. So long as he doesn’t know about what the slug gave her, she has nothing to hide. Nothing that couldn’t easily be found on her record, anyways, and she doubts there are many barriers to hide him from that.

  
  


He follows her around, and he can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed. He doesn’t understand this girl, how she works or why, and he desperately wants to. He thinks, maybe, he wants to put her to use- but she’s too familiar with being controlled to fall for shoddy manipulations, and he’s got no influence over her that would work. Besides, he’s feeling more and more like he’s the one on the end of the leash, chasing after her approval. He spends the time thinking less about what Sakura is doing, at any given point, and more on what he can do that she can’t. 

He wants to have her insight, on what his role in this village must be and how he can change it. Wants her to tell him what to do, like a good soldier who takes direction and doesn’t need to question the who or why or how. He used to want power, an important role and the respect that comes with it, bring honor to his family name. Now he wants knowledge, and Sakura is the only one who seems to have it. 

He wants them all dead, but he doesn’t know how. He thinks she might know, but he’s realizing that pointing that out will just make her disappear, like snow in the spring. Naruto’s friends have vanished before, when they press to hard or ask for too much. Sasuke got to stay, because Sasuke is  _ safe,  _ vetted and essential, but Sakura is not. 

He has to way his own desires against her survival, and he doesn’t like her odds. 

So he follows, and he thinks, and he spots the ANBU that have started to trail him with amusement, and he has an  _ idea.  _ The type of idea that makes Kakashi pull out his hair, and got Naruto in trouble in the academy. It’s also a good one, to shift the odds in his teammate’s favor.

Sakura isn’t invited to the family dinners often. Minato says it’s because she’s not used to the elaborate set up and can’t return the favor, and he doesn’t want her feeling guilty or embarrassed for it. Naruto’s stepmother will make her a bento out of the leftovers to make up for it, and Sakura never complains about missing the meals. She never eats the bentos, either, but Sasuke has noticed she rarely eats food in public, and never food she hasn’t prepared herself. He’s beginning to do the same. He might not know why, but he’s learning that Sakura’s actions are always motivated by experience he lacks. 

They’re sitting, properly, shoes at the door and meal hot before them, and Naruto has set things up perfectly without trying by bringing up Sakura again. It’s his new favorite topic, and Sasuke can see from the forlorn look on Minato’s face that it’s a well worn one even when he’s not around to hear it either. Naruto loves to talk about how well she does in training, how nice she is when she’s not too reserved, how she’s so responsible for working a job and helping him study the new ninjutsu Kakashi is teaching. It’s like how he used to talk about Sasuke, when Naruto wasn’t allowed to learn any techniques and Sasuke already had the Uchiha beginning lessons under his belt. Sasuke waits for a pause, when Naruto goes to shovel food in his mouth, and sets his cutlery down beside his plate. 

“I’m going to marry her.” Sasuke says, firmly, staring Minato down with his hands neatly folded beneath the table. Sakura has told him there are eyes everywhere, after all, and clenched fists spell for a fight, not a romance. He can say it with conviction because it’s just like any other battlefield, and he might not mean it, but he now knows where his value lies to this man. His offspring would be worth sacrificing quite a lot, and if a boy who’s never shown interest in girls before shows dedication to one- one who didn’t have a genkai that could interfere with his own- the Hokage will have to take note. He couldn’t protect her before, but he’ll be damned if he lets his pride get in the way of protecting her now. 

Naruto splutters, dripping soup over his plate and silverware. “No fair, bastard,  _ I’m  _ gonna marry her!”

Sasuke has no idea if Naruto understands his reasoning, or if the idiot is just that infatuated, but he supposes it doesn’t matter. Either way, Minato now has  _ two  _ reasons to keep Sakura alive. Her rank in the village is rising rather quickly.

“Now, Naruto, I’m sure that-” 

“No way, dad! Sasuke doesn’t even like girls- I mean, he didn’t, or- ugh! I’ve liked Sakura-chan way longer and I’m not gonna give up just cause Sasuke says so!”

“I… of course.” Minato mumbles, looking about halfway to an aneurysm. “Nothing wrong with a few crushes. Perfectly normal for teenagers.”

Sasuke hms, returning his attention to his meal with a smirk. If Minato expects this to blow over quickly, he’s got another thing coming. If the only way to keep Sakura alive is to make her the Uchiha Matriarch, he’ll oblige. Hell, if the only way to keep her alive is to make her the Hatake Matriarch, even the Namikaze heir apparent, he’ll arrange the damn ceremony himself and walk her down the aisle. Pissing Minato off is just a bonus. If they’re married, she can tell him how to fix the village and no one will know until he’s done it. If she’s married to Naruto, they can probably finagle her into running it. 

He doesn’t have trust in much, these days, but Sakura is easy to have faith in. She’s like the snow- cold, harsh, and deadly. But she’s like Itachi, too. Protective and sad and carved to fit the world in a way she’s not meant to grow naturally. Sasuke is sick of blaming others for Itachi’s death. It’s time to take responsibility for a life, instead. 

 

While Sasuke eats a dinner that tastes like victory, Sakura wanders through the village towards the cheapest grocery store in her district. It’s late, which is why she goes at this time- fewer people, less noise. The food will be picked over and what remains will be bruised, but it’s better than her rations used to be so she’s happy to make the trade. She startles when she hears from behind her, an out of breath yelp, “Wait!”

She shifts, cautiously, and sees in the corner of her eye dark hair and pale skin and an outstretched hand. It’s the girl again, Neji’s cousin, Kiba’s teammate, and Sakura forces her revulsion down because if she’s giving the son of the Hokage a second chance, she owes at least that much to a Hyuuga. Hinata’s voice is quiet, hands shaking, but she must draw courage from somewhere because she finally manages to ask,

“Would you like...to see Neji’s grave?”

Shocked, Sakura takes a step forward without thinking. The girl- Hinata- draws back, flinching, still refusing to make eye contact. 

“Yes- yes, I’d-” She says, barely able to form the words. To see his grave, apologize in person, it was beyond anything she’d hoped for it. The Hyuuga do not forgive, and they do not forget. “But won’t you-?”

Hinata, still shaking, reaches out to take her hand. “It’s okay. Neji- Neji didn’t like me, I know, but I don’t blame him. I don’t blame you, either, Sakura-san. He cared about you, and it’s not- it’s not  _ right  _ to keep you away for him. How’s his spirit supposed to be reborn if he doesn’t know if you lived or not?”  

Sakura clasps the other girl’s hand tightly, lets her feel the quivers tremoring down her own arm. This is- treasonous, for both of them. A rule set by the Hyuuga isn’t to be broken, even by an heir. It’s more noble than anything Sakura thought an heir  _ capable of,  _ to risk so much for a dead house member and a girl with a worthless last name. 

_ Neji...I did what you asked. But I think I’d like to forgive her. I think you’d want me to.  _

She draws close to the girl, walks side by side with her and tries to find the words to thank her and fails. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i veer between believing sasuke capable of complex deception, and so straightforward he's incapable of even believing others could manipulate a person. this fic is being nice to sasuke, so capable boy he is, at least partially because sakura needs some damn support.
> 
> tenten!!! kiba!!! tenten!!!! kiba!!!!!!! 
> 
> fyi, i've seen a few people wondering, and naruto's not the kyuubi. he's got a lot of chakra bc of his uzumaki heritage, but no secret ninetails backup. hope that clears things up!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changes and chains

“So.” Kakashi says, eyeing his students. “Who do I congratulate on the engagement?”

Chaos descends. 

Sasuke is a spluttering mess, trying to explain his reasoning as quickly as possible before he gets accused of having  _ emotions  _ or something equally embarrassing. Naruto is even quicker to point out that, actually, he’d make a much better husband than Sasuke and Sakura deserves the  _ best.  _ Kakashi groans to himself, tuning out for a while and praying they will come to a resolution soon enough, even if the melodrama is rather entertaining. When he finally tunes back in, Naruto is pouting and says, “Well, I don’t see why she should get married to Sasuke for security when she could marry me for the same thing and _ I _ actually like her.”

“Maybe the next Hokage won’t have a soft spot for Namikaze kids, huh? What’s your bloodline going to provide? Blond hair and dumbass instincts?” Sasuke taunts, and it makes Naruto growl and the ANBU in the trees chuckle. Kakashi just sighs. 

“How about we ask Sakura?” He suggests, and both boys freeze.

“Oh, right.” Naruto mutters sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly. 

 

Sakura, while the boys fight over romance and ethics and marriage schemes, is busy at work. 

 

Sakura’s job is boring, but she's’ efficient at it, and this means she gets sent deeper and deeper into the chambers, earning a slightly raised pay with the higher security as it goes on. She doesn’t fully understand it- her abilities remain barely passable, if that, and she’d be little use if someone escaped a cell- but she does the job and pays attention to her paycheck, strategizing exactly how to save it to spend on Tenten and Kiba and the upkeep of Neji’s secondary shrine. After getting to see the Hyuuga grave, with Hinata at her side but polite enough to not mention the tears streaking her face, Sakura has begun to come to terms with the boy’s death and what place he should hold in her life. She doesn’t want to force his spirit to stick around if he’s ready to move on, but she’s also not prepared to pretend she doesn’t still suffer his loss; a small shrine for the future team home seems like the closest compromise. 

 

She arrives late to the team meeting, then, when they’ve already tussled out their disagreements and Sasuke looks pleased enough to have likely won the fight. She doesn’t bother asking what the argument was about- it could be anything from the sun in the sky to the taste of tomatoes, given the habits of her teammates- and instead focuses on properly greeting them. 

“Sakura-chan….” Naruto says, and as she waits for him to speak she senses the other two beginning to tense up for some reason. It sets her on edge, that nervous energy, and she barely hears when he continues, “Have you ever thought about romance?”

 

The words register, and she stares at him shocked for a few seconds before cracking up. She laughs, and laughs, begins to snort and wheeze, and she bends and keeps her hands on her knees from the sheer force of it. She laughs so hard she begins to feel the tickle in her throat that warns her that her gift will start to act up, and she has no wish to explain that to her teammates so she finally manages to swallow her shaking sides and collapses to the floor.

“Uh, no, Naruto-san, I can’t say I have.” She informs him, hand clasped against her stomach still from how hard her belly had shook. Her team is looking at her like she’s crazy, and she can’t exactly blame them, but the very  _ idea  _ that she’d have- have thought about romance! Have any sort of interest in it, those days during the war or the terrifying and confusing adjustment period to normal life she’s been living. She’s hardly had time to think in general, much less about love and dates and marriage ceremonies. 

 

“How about we get to work? I have a few C-ranks set aside for us.” Kakashi suggests, doing his awkward best to redirect the conversation. It works, and they eagerly follow him to the mission desk to pick up their first assignment; a message delivery to a town very close by. She’s pleasantly surprised when Naruto suggest that Sakura be the one to carry the scroll; it’s the easiest position, so long as nothing goes terribly wrong, and he’d been considerate enough to point out she’d been working all morning and could likely use the break. Kakashi rewards his consideration by giving him the most interesting job- scouting ahead- which Naruto is eager take until he realizes that this leaves Sasuke as Sakura’s immediate flanking assistance. He doesn’t complain in the moment, too embarrassed to do so in front of Sakura presumably, but Kakashi can already sense the earful he’ll be getting as soon as they split up. 

 

They’ve only been outside the village for a few minutes before Sasuke speaks up. Never one for small talk, he begins with the point of the conversation.

“Move in with me.” Sasuke says, and Sakura gives him a wide-eyed blink. Her confusion must show, because his expression turns nervous. 

“I’ve got a whole compound. You can bring whoever you want.” He adds, tinged with slight desperation, and she can’t help but press him with a questioning stare. “I really don’t care, Sakura. If you think they’re trustworthy-” 

He cuts off, and she catches his meaning. He trusts her judgement more than his own. It’s more responsibility than she’d ever want, but she’s the one who forced him to face the reality of his world, so she supposes it’s the price she has to pay. He likely doesn’t feel safe, isolated from witnesses and likely watched by a few anbu- she feels a little bad, knowing she’s the one who clued him in. 

“My old team…” She begins, and he’s already nodding. 

“Of course. Just- one thing- I’ve- well.”

She gives him her full attention, fully prepared for almost any volley he could throw at her.

“Minato thinks we’re engaged.”

She wasn’t prepared for that. Today has truly been a wave of emotions, and she lets herself finally get hit by them, resulting in something between sobs and choked laughter. “God, Sasuke, I finally understand how you and Naruto are best friends.”

“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Sasuke replies, but she can see his lips twitch as he says it. 

They make it to the village to drop off the scroll in good spirits, and Naruto spends the return trip badgering Sasuke for details that the boy refuses to give. Sakura goes home and sleeps like the dead, happy to pass on word to her teammates tomorrow that she’s found them a common home and the only price is a stingy boy who’s still learning his manners.

 

That next day- It’s her third week in the lowest levels she’s reached yet, at work, when she makes a terrible error in judgement. 

There is a door. A sturdy door, with all sorts of marks on it to keep whatever is trapped behind it trapped  _ in,  _ and very little to keep people out. There have been many doors like this, that Sakura has passed as she’s been trusted more and more, and none have tempted her before. She’s good at ignoring what she has to for her work. 

This one tempts her. Mocks her, even, smells like a trap and still she gives in.

The door is slightly ajar, and Sakura- Sakura goes in.

Goes down the steps, endless as they are, feels the carved runes on each step and on the wall that she keeps her hand pressed to for guidance, and all of them scream at her to turn back, but she feels a keening need to keep going deeper within instead. She’s hesitant, when she reaches a second door, blocking what must be the room, but she knows where this tugging is coming from- her throat, her little gift, thick and bloated the longer she waits, and she might not fully understand it, but she always listens to her gift.

She opens the door. 

The room is brightly lit- not by anything manmade, but by the prisoner sitting inside and the chains weaving across the floor. 

The first thing Sakura thinks when she sees the woman is  _ red. _

She’s in chains, heavy and overbearing, thrumming with some sort of golden chakra that keeps the woman contained, but Sakura is staring at endless strands of long red hair and trying to decide if it means what she thinks. The Uzumaki did not survive the war. There are very few redheads in Konoha, offshoots of rogue bachelors now long dead, but perhaps-

“Hello.” says the woman. Her voice is hoarse with years of disuse, and Sakura feels pity despite herself. 

“Hello, Miss Uzumaki.” Sakura replies, carefully, and the woman gives a soft little laugh. 

“You’re not supposed to be here, are you.” 

Sakura shakes her head. 

“Kurama can be so pushy, sometimes. I hope this won’t get you in trouble. You seem very young.”

Sakura shrugs. 

“Too late now, either way.” She replies, because it’s true. If this is treason she’ll be dead, and lucky her if not. The woman doesn’t laugh at that, just looks sad. Tilts her head at Sakura, red locks falling at her sides. Sakura thinks, distantly, that the chains that bind her must be of Uzumaki make, and isn’t that a mean trick to play on the woman stuck wearing them? Still, there was something about the woman’s face, when she had laughed, that-

Ah.

“You’re Naruto’s mom, aren’t you?” Sakura asks. The woman’s eyes snap up to meet hers. 

“You- you know my boy? You- oh. You must be the one Minato mentioned, his teammate, you- he never mentioned your name, but he said you saved our son. Thank you.”

Of course he never said her name. Sakura is not surprised. 

“He thinks you’re dead. Everyone does. Why are you here?”

There’s a long, drawn out pause, before Kushina sighs, gestures across from her to suggest a place for Sakura to rest. 

“I had a choice.” Kushina mutters. “Until I didn’t. You know what that’s like, don’t you, kid? You look like you do.”

Sakura sat, legs folded and arms clasped in front of her, and listened.

“I loved Minato. He asked, and I said  _ yes,  _ and for years, that was my answer to everything. I always wanted to say yes. And then, one day, I wanted to say no, and that’s when I learned I’d never really had a say in the matter. The Uchiha-” She cuts off, and Sakura pretends she doesn’t see the tears streaming down the woman’s face. It must be difficult enough as it is, to tell this story. “Uchiha Mikoto was my  _ best friend. _ and Minato- he was willing to spare her.”

Kushina pauses, and then she spits out, furious, the shackles glowing hard and hot from her sudden surge of strength, “But  _ just her! _ ” 

The betrayal runs deep, deep enough to send Kushina wretching and growling at her chains even now, years later. “Like Uzushio, the rest would perish. A sole survivor, to carry on the clan- a pain he  _ knows  _ I am far too intimately familiar with to put upon Mikoto. And for what? Demanding more? Demanding better of the village they live in, sacrifice for? He would force her to watch her sons die, Sasuke the same age as our own, Itachi who so often would babysit and dote on Naruto, and my husband-”

She wilts. The chains clatter to the floor, light dimming. “I married a monster.”

Sakura, tentatively, reaches out and wipes at the tears on Kushina’s face.  

“I don’t know if I’m alive because of the trouble of finding a new kyuubi host, or if the bastard thinks he can win me back.”

Kushina leans into Sakura’s hands. She’s shaking. Sakura can feel tears dripping down her own cheeks, faced with what she thought was long gone- someone who would say  _ no  _ to the Hokage. A nin with morals. 

A nin- with ties to the Hokage, an immense source of power, and ethics.

_ Oh, Sasuke.  _ She thinks, even as she takes Kushina’s hand in her own.  _ I hope you’re still set on a revolution. _

“Kushina-sama… I have an idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whole lot of plot all at once but i hate pacing myself so take it all !!!! god ive been waiting for That Scene for a while glad i could finally deliver 
> 
> wild that kishimoto would set up kushina and sakura as vague parelells only for narusaku reasons and not to appreciate that maybe sakura is ALSO a futch bi who could rule the world but doesn't want to deal with all that political jargon 
> 
> since i've seen a few questions about it: the reason sakura passes her mental inspections with flying colors is bc a hatred for The State/political elite is totally normal for konoha's soldiers. her inspections by the yamanake all showed a slightly-more-paranoid than average, super guilty girl who knows her place in the system doesn't afford her the luxury of any sort of rebellion. she'd never be given a position of power, but doing grunt work? totally a good fit. 
> 
> sakuras gift is both more and less what some of y'all think it is. It's one simple thing....but it has a lot of uses. i like to give sakura skills like that.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> viva la revolution

Sakura is the first to move in, late at night but with a careful ease to make it clear they’re not trying to keep it secretive.

Sasuke’s house is almost shockingly large, and Sakura can feel the age of the wood just by brushing a hand against it’s frames. This is a house built for important people, hundreds of them, and she wants to laugh as much as she wants to cry at the twists in fate that have turned it into her new home. Sasuke is silent for most of her exploration, but the air is thick with his own nervous energy- he follows her around, guides her through the few rooms he’s cleaned and the others that have gone unseen for years. The gardens in the back are impressive in scope, but run wild- it’s obvious from the worn down training posts and dirt paths across from it that Sasuke had spent his time preparing for war, not harvests. 

He gives her new blankets and a set of keys. Lets her put up her purple curtains in the kitchen windows. Sasuke is, in many ways she never would’ve expected, an ideal host. 

“Will the others be able to move in soon?” He asks, eyes darting towards the windows to the night, to the dark sky and the shaking trees, and Sakura knows the paranoia driving his gaze. She nods, cautiously places a hand on his shoulder and doesn’t pull away when he flinches at first. 

“Tenten will be here tomorrow evening. Kiba by the end of the week.” 

“Ah.” 

He backs away, turning towards his bedroom door, before glancing back and asking, “um…would you mind?”

She doesn’t. It’s a relief, actually, with how long she’d slept with teammates at her sides. He takes the bed and she takes a mat on the floor, before he finally realizes this is a bit unfair and goes and drags a mattress from another bed into the room to replace her mat. Sakura doesn’t mention that the ground was more comfortable to her, after all her years in tents on hard earth; he’s learning to be considerate, and she doesn’t want to dissuade him from continuing to try. 

They’ve sat in the dark for almost half an hour before Sakura finally speaks up, quietly but firmly. 

“Sasuke… I have an idea.” 

She’s not surprised when he murmurs in response- he doesn’t seem the type to fall asleep quickly, either. 

“I met Naruto’s mother.” She says, and it doesn’t seem to register with him what she means.  _ Of course, he must be used to the new woman.  _ “I met Kushina.” She clarifies, and it sends Sasuke jerking upright in his bed to stare at her before cautiously laying back down to play at being calm. They both sit in silence for another half hour, in case his movements drew attention to them, and then she continues. 

“She’s locked up, but very strong. If you still want to hurt the people that killed your family, I have a plan.”

It’s hesitation or nerves that stall Sasuke’s response, but the struggle to keep his voice low, his body from tensing. “I’m listening.” He says, but what he means is  _ Whatever it takes.  _

In the end, it really doesn’t take much at all. 

The next day, she goes to talk to Naruto. It’s not hard to find him, even easier to pull him aside, and despite Sakura’s doubts about if the boy will keep things secret, Sasuke distracts their anbu guards long enough for her to try. 

“I can take you to your mother.” She says, and Naruto startles. 

“Her- grave?” 

“No, Naruto,  _ your mother.  _ Alive. Do you want to see her too?”

“Sakura-chan, this isn’t funny.” Naruto says, and he’s staring  _ hard  _ at her like trying to see if this is a trick, some sort of wartime sense of humor he’s not able to understand. Instead he just sees Sakura, looking like she always does- paranoid and sad and lined in harsh edges, but genuine. 

“I’m not trying to be funny, I’m serious.” She promises him, grasping at his hands as if to reassure him and it must work because instead of backing away he steps a little closer. 

If it was anyone else, they’d take it for a sick joke or a sign she was slipping mentally, but Naruto- beautiful, trusting Naruto, who kept faith in Sakura-chan more than she could ever possibly deserve- he looked at her, and he  _ believed. _

“Yeah, Sakura-chan. I want to see her.” 

So she tells him. About  _ everything.  _

God, she hopes this works.

\--

Naruto isn’t eating anymore. They force him to choke down ration bars, but he can’t bring himself to sit at the table and eat his meals with his father, cooked by his new mother- and is she in on it? Did she have a say in her marriage, or is this a longterm mission? Is this another person whose life was dictated for his sake? Put to the task to give him a  _ mother figure _ and everything she might’ve wanted set aside?- and set on his plate with the efforts of a people his father has lied to for years. 

Naruto isn’t a fool. He’s met Sarutoba. He’s read the records. He knows Hokage are complicit in things unspeakable, that most upper level nin are, but he’d always thought Minato was different. Strong enough he didn’t need to rely on the manipulations and cruelties so often dealt by the man in charge. Now he knows his father is as bad as the rest of them, and it hurts. He can no longer see the necessity in these actions, because his father is supposed to be moral and kind and perfect, and his father is none of those things. 

Minato killed off Sasuke’s family. He’d sent Sakura off to war and never bothered to learn her name. Minato- Hokage-san-  _ locked up his mother.  _

He can’t kill him. Minato is his father, the man who came to all of his birthday parties, who talked him through first crushes and the loss of his mother and the harsh realities of being a nin. But if Sasuke, Sakura, Mom? If any of them want to try- he won’t stand in their way. Hell, he’ll help, if that’s what they need. 

Naruto has never been great at the killing part of this job, but if ever there was a friend to call when you need a body buried, he’s it. 

\--

It’s only a few hours left- and how narrow a time frame she’s set for herself, it’s almost laughable- when Hinata comes to her and says, “I know what you’re planning.”

It’s a testament to their growing friendship that Sakura does not immediately run. 

“I want to help.” 

Sakura believes her. 

Hinata had learned from Tenten, it seems, and from watching Naruto so closely. 

“The Hyuuga main family are trained from a very young age on the signs of a burgeoning rebellion.” The girl informs Sakura, with a tenseness to her voice that reveals just why that is, and lends itself to why, exactly, an heiress would want to take part in something like this at all. 

They only talk briefly before they put the plan into action. They don’t want things to seem too suspicious, to outside observers, so they do not play at a sudden burst of compatibility where the reality is a slow march to understanding. 

The second time they meet, it’s in secret, only a few hours past and just before Sakura is about to go to Kushina-sama- and  _ both _ the heirs to the Hyuuga line come to see her. “Hinata…” Sakura says, hesitant. “Are you sure this is what you want?” 

Hinata is shivering, but Hinabi grasps her hand and they both give Sakura a look of pure determination. “Yes.” Hinata says, and draws herself to full height, clutching Hinaba’s hand with a fierce protectiveness that can’t be ignored.

“For my sister, the good of my clan, and the good of Konoha. For Neji.” 

She pushes the bowl forward, the sticky paste inside a light purple and a wafting smell of lavender drifting off it. Sakura, very carefully, spits in. The spit that falls from her lips is sticky and orange, and as it mixes in with the paste it turns the mixture just slightly darker. 

 

Then Sakura leaves. Of the three of them, she thinks her task was the easiest. 

 

(The Hyuuga clan’s main family all received their care first. It was only natural. Their prized eyes required a careful treatment to ensure longevity, pastes and mixtures and special diets, hidden within the compound away from curious outsiders. 

 

The purple paste was rubbed across their eyelids, and left to soak. Eyes covered, kept closed all day- and the very next one, every member of the Hyuuga main family woke up blind. Including Hinata, as dedicated as she was to her decision. Including Hinabi. It would send Konoha into high alert- but by then it would be too late. They don’t intend to waste the time waiting to get caught.)

While the Hyuuga Heirs set about their own clan’s fall, Sakura makes her way down worn stones to a familiar room with as much ease as she had the first time around. 

“You’ve come back.” Kushina says, and it’s with a hint of surprise that’s far overshadowed by relief. Sakura nods, a little awkwardly. 

“I don’t think they pay much mind to security footage of you or me, to be honest.” Sakura admits. It’s pathetic, in a sense, that they both register so low as threats; but it’s also shameful because this is their village, still, and it’s drastically underestimated them in a way that should embarrass the state itself. However bizarre it is, they can feel the shame from both sides; as enemies of the government, and as members of it. 

Sakura turns her attentions to the Uzumaki metal keeping the woman bound. The chains are impossibly thick, reinforced by the strength of the captive’s own chakra, and knotted through the floor and beyond. Perhaps this is why the security has gotten so lax when it comes to upkeep and surveillance. Breaking the chains would take a master at sealing and years of dedication. 

 

Or, they would need Sakura. 

 

She sits, primply on her knees, hands below her and head bent forward, staring intently at the chains. Kushina pets at her hair cautiously, because she doesn’t know what Sakura is doing but she knows that it must be painful. She listens, closely, as whimpers of pain dredge up from the girl, and coos like she once did for Naruto in his crib. Sakura weeps, tears splashing and rolling down the golden-glowing chains, but she does not move.

Then, then, she opens her mouth. A slow, rolling drip of slime pours out, this time a dark amber, hissing as it hits the chains and beginning to boil. Kushina watches in awe as the metal dissolves, turning into a puddle that begins to sink through the floor beneath it as well. She pulls back, Sakura finally lifting her head to cough, and there’s blood splattering on the floor when she does it, and flecks of the slime coating the ground all over again, little pockets of acid that burn furiously deeper into the earth as they wait. 

“How-” Kushina begins, than pauses, startling at the rush of energy surging through her suddenly. 

_ Hello, hello, what’s this?  _ Kurama mutters, and Kushina flexes her muscles against years of disuse. Like a puppet on strings, she’s lifted up onto her feet by her chakra paths, and it’s like she’s been reborn.  _ We’re out, we’re out,  _ **_we can do what we want!_ **

Kushina cracks a grin. She and the ninetails have had a long time to bond over similar circumstances, and the bloodlust pounding away in her heart is mingled with his so closely she can’t pull the two apart. Sakura has rolled onto her back, belly up and victorious, starring with pride at Kushina and the broken chains dangling harmlessly from her wrists. 

“Oh.” Kushina says. It’s a lot of words in one, shoved together and impossible to express. Sakura seems to understand. In a moment, the girl is in her arms, and in less than that Kushina has given herself a tunnel out. This room had been designed to keep Kushina in, but escape is laughably easy with her power returned regardless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TA DA, you finally get to find out sakura's super secret gift from the slugs- SLIME!  
> versatile slime!

**Author's Note:**

> vaguely inspired by the fic Control by Dragonist, go check it out! https://archiveofourown.org/works/14029191/chapters/32312376 
> 
> this song is stuck in my head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T82OEZmCr1o 
> 
> im trying super hard to stop writing new fics and focus on the ones i've started but guys its hardddd theres so much in canon to mess with !!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [your move, instigator (draw your weapon and hold your tongue)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16823764) by [Laysan_albatross](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laysan_albatross/pseuds/Laysan_albatross)




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